Bonita

Not sure a lot of you'll will remember me... some will. Hey Jay.

I am preparing for my 2nd treatment with Ibogain. This time much cheaper. I can not say that I am really looking forward to it but I will do anything it takes to keep what I have now.

My last treatment was in June. It has been told to me by many that most need a 2nd TX. So, after the holidays are over I will be doing another. I feel like I had a "easy" first TX. Hoping the 2nd treatment will go just as easy.

This has been a GOD send to me. Got me over the hump, flew thru the paws once I took the Iboga. Prior to the treatment I was loosing hope that life was even worth it. Today, I am happy, productive and most important.... CLEAN.

Just wanted to stop by, read some and share my 6 months clean with the folks here.

Bonita

<center>omission is not honesty, only different ways of lying</center>

__________________

gettingbetter

I am so happy that you are happy, Bonita. Fantastic to see you, and congrats on six months.

love,
danielle

Bonita

Ty Danial.... Life is good. Being sober is great

<center>omission is not honesty, only different ways of lying</center>

spring

Hi Bonita, I didnt know you had this treatment, but I do remember how much you were suffering post-suboxone.


Would you mind giving a detailed account of your experience while under the influence of Ibogaine for our members? The array of experiences intrigue me. If you have already done so then I apologize that I havent seen it on the board.

I'm happy to hear that this method worked so well for you.



<center>~Do the right thing and risk the consequences~</center>

Bonita

Sorry.... don't have time to read much. Life clean is really busy. Loving it.

My experience was rather benign compare to what others told me. I took the medication, it took many hours to take affect. The place I went was big in Bwitti music which my ears were not accustom to at all.

My first clue that it was finally taken affect was the buzzing behind my head... it got very loud. I was plastered to the bed.. smells were a bit overwhelming for me. The music was even more overwhelming for me. I decided that I didn't like it so I totally blacked out for some time. Don't really know how long. When I "awaken" again, my sitters were checking my bp and making sure I was OK. I was but then I began "seeing" things and I chose not to answer them. I remember wanting them to leave me alone.

My most vivid memory was seeing me as a kid. This child was leaving a building and crossing the boardwalk to the beach. I followed her and notice she was bear footed and the sand was too hot for her feet and she was trying to get to the wet part of the sand near the ocean. I remember thinking.."funny, my feet are not hot". I look down and I was not touching the sand but hovering it. Seem normal to me at the time. I continue to follow this child, long blond hair and dark, tanned skin. I remember not really wanting to see her face, finally I got the nerve to sit next to her and look at her face. IT was Me as a kid. She had tears on her cheeks. She looked at me and said "are we going to be okay now?" I began crying and holding her, telling her yes we will.

Other vivid memories are scattered... there were real roosters all over the little town I was in. Each time one ****ed (seem like every few mins) my visions would change. I had a hard time keeping up. I got small glances of my childhood, my siblings and parents. Small visions of things I was ashamed of, things I have done, choices I made. I think I then fell asleep.

The treatment was very easy on me. The next day was very pleasant. I was not really sleeping but sorta was. OR maybe just finally at peace that I could be quiet in my mind. I was totally coherent, tired but felt so pleasant. Days,really two weeks following the treatment sleep avoided me. I think I average 1 or 2 hours a night. It was ok. I had a lot to review in my head and liked the quiet time to myself to try and recapture my visions.

Iboga is not good for those with benzo's aboard. Suboxone addicts also have a harder time. For opiates, I would for sure say this is the way to go. Wd never kept me clean. I went thru wd 100s' of times and always went back to opiates. Getting clean was hard but not near has hard to staying clean. Iboga for sure gave me a leg up. It acts as a antidepressant also.. well it did for me.

I have just recently seen myself slip back to my old way of thinking, having drug dreams and fighting to stay clean again.. 6 months iboga gave me without the fight nor the feeling that life clean is just not worth the fight. So I am doing a second treatment. For me, I am willing to face satan, see the horror others have told me they seen while under the iboga influence. It will be worth it for a few days of discomfort/fear to keep what I have.

Thanks for asking, hope this helps others on the fence.

<center>omission is not honesty, only different ways of lying</center>

manrayscamera

Hi bonita,
ive read your posts with some interest.Iboga i feel has a lot of uses its just not taken up much by the orthodox field(that said in n america it appears the orthodox solution to addiction to opiates is life long maintenance)...so well done.Id be curious to know a few things(PM if it suits) 1)where did you get the therapy-no need to be specific 2)you said you had using dreams...a crucial point did you use in the dreams or not...it seems significant 3)was nausea much of an issue with the ibogs 4)where you had it done were you wired up to say cardiac monitors?...the pharma analogue of iboga is ketamine(more or less) and ketamine has been shown to be very effective in opiate ..lets call it remodulation...in any case all the best and well done
M'camera

Mic

Congrats Bonita for achieving yet another HUGE milestone! [^]

You guys may have already read this thread, but if you haven't...our friend Randy aka Alcamus started it way back when. He's since been back with new user name. I'll add input from that as well when I can think of it. (and if it contains new schtuff)

Mic


<center>It Takes What It Takes</center>

Bonita

I would be happy to answer all your questions...


1) I had the TX in Salyulita, Mexico. I went with Rocky Carvelli and was very happy with the care I received. No EKG hook ups, they checked my BP very often. I was well hydrated prior to TX. I was also checked out by my Pvt Md prior to leaving the states,ie, EKG, bld work such as BMP, Liver enzymes, CBC. I also had a stress test done. My MD was very much on board with this. As far as the "clinic" that provided my tx... they monitored me closely by bld pressure, interrupting my trip to be sure I was not in a panic stage, ensuring I drank water after a certain time passed. To put it blunty... it was not a medical clinic.

2) I was very lucky.... I gagged a few times once it hit me. To tell the truth, I don't think I was really nauseated at all. They warned me I could vomit and had pale ready. I think that put it in my head that I was gonna vomit so I did gag a few times. I was very dry, empty stomach prior to TX. Had nothing in my stomach to vomit.

3).. lately I have been having drug dreams. I wake up in a panic thinking I have already done the dope. I woke up once screaming, saw the needle in my arm. It scared the crap out of me and took a few days to shake it off. What I worry about now is that I am craving, dreaming, see myself slipping back into some depression. I have never had depression like I did post Suboxone... it was unbearable for me. I was very close to suicide, if the TX did not work for me, I am sure I would not be here today to post this. I had a plan.

I need to add that I have never been one to suffer from anxiety attacks, depression or any other psy problems. No benzo's on board nor any anti-depressants. The suboxone nearly killed me, by my own hand but I do feel that the Ibogain TX saved my life. I was not willing to live the way sub left me.

Hope this answers your questions. I will not be returning to Mexico for my 2nd treatment. I am clean and will not need the dosage that I took for my first TX. I feel very safe doing it at home with a Friend who is an RN to monitor me. I do have in my home a way to monitor my heart with the ability to shock if Nessa, I also have atropine ampules, and 10mg IV Valium. I will be well hydrated, empty stomach. I also will have IV access. I feel this is the best I can do and much more then I got in Mexico. I don't feel all this is needed but its illegal in the states and need to take extra precautions. I am a RN myself, the RN who will monitor me is a great critical care nurse, I trust her.

I am surely NOT SAYING that anyone should do this at home. NEVER. I think its best to go to Mexico, Canada or whereever its legal and you can receive the care one needs if things do go bad. There could be hidden cardiac problems like WPW, R on T's could happen if one get too tacky due to fear, or ones heart rate could get critically slow, drop in BP that could be very dangerous. For me, the risk are so much lower then the outcome, surely safer then hitting the Baltimore

Ali_Montella

Whatever works for People for the better is an option of course and wise. But Weren't You on Methadone before Sub Bonita? and only took sub for few months whereas on meth u was on it for a while? so thus the depression could be associated with meth more the sub..If one takes an opiate for a continious period of time no matter what opiate and no matter how many times they switch then once they are off everything they are bound to feel depressed (post opiates) so its really easy to blame the last opiate one took while in-fact it could be the previous ones and lifestyle...Obviously if one has not been clean for longer then few months and continue to take something no matter if its meth or sub or oxys etc then when they eventually stop and be clean for a while they will feel depressed...So one really needs to look at their history they blame soley everything on the last opiate they took because like i said the past opiates or pills or whatever do play a factor when it comes to being clean post-opiates.

But with this Iboga don't u have to go every 6 months and get this treatment and pay a hell of a lot of money?.

Many People of all ages and backgrounds have stopped opiates and never needed any treatment other then themselves.

I know Families where Parents are junkies but the off-springs turn out to be doctors and so and on..So really its our own choice in how we lead out life.

I know its easier not to touch any opiate if you're comfortable with your life i.e got a partner/marriage, got a decent career, decent freinds, secure and confident about yourself etc but still nobody is forced to do drugs or opiates, except some who are tricked into it by their so called Family GPs (Docs).

As they say here the best Councilor is yourself..Only we can help ourselves..I truly believe its about our Mentallity..Just think there are worser people off then us in the world i.e living in poverty, war zones, living with illnesses, losing loved ones, struggling to geta roof over their heads etc yet some stay away from drugs and other thing but stay positive and carry on with life..We should Cherrish we have at least basics.

Am sure nobody wants to stay or have treatments all their lives, no matter if its every 6 months or every 2 years and am sure people will rather spend money in other ways then treatments but like i said if it means you think its saving your life then it has to be done i suppose..But we are all Human and if many can come off opiates/drugs and live a long clean happy sober life without any treatmens as such then so can anybody...I truly don't belive in gentics or environments being the source of people become addicts, thats an excuse and way to make feel better, thats the mentallity one has to change if they are going to survive in life and be happy..We all make our own choices, yes some have harder then others but still no excuse to induldge in something which are arent forced at...The more we think about issues we have the more down we feel and depressed..The more occupied we are the more we can havea postive outlook, the more realistic and honest we are the more the world will be realistic and honest to us...One cannot be in-denial and blame him or her or that or this for their mis-fortunes and their addict brain, only weak people do this and they choose to blame that route..The more we accept our own responsiblities then the more we can recover..Speaking generally here. So yeah like i said many of all ages and backgrounds have gone through this addict lifestyle and worser but come out the other side without paying loads of money and relying on meds & injections etc..But if they think that works then so be it...Just hope hope they know it costs and might have to go every 6 months or so to feel Human.

God-Bless Everyone & Peace!.

"Where there is a Will there is a Way"

Bonita

actually .... the tx was much cheaper then rehab. first tx cost me 5000 bucks. That included two weeks in Mexico... great food, a great massage, and many folks at my beckon call for talk, cry or what ever I needed. I dont think the tx has to be every 6 months. HEll, hope not. I want a yr of no fighting cravings. I always loose eventually with them. I am in NA/AA and working my program.

My second tx is costing me a big total of 400 bucks. I will also give my sitter 200 bucks for her time.

I was on sub for 6 months. I usef meth here and there to cover me if I couldnt get to my Herion or get some diludid. I use meth just to keep me from wd.

Sub hurt my eye sight for life, upgraded my receptors for opiates. Left me nearly dead. I am not really blaming it all on sub... it was just the worse wd I ever went thru other then the PW my addiction dick put me thru. I was not totally out of wd 6 months after my last dose of sub and I cant even calulate that dose as it was just a smigit of powder. Still had sleep problems, sweat/chills and mud chits 6 months later. HEll... after only 6 months of sub... could be just a fluke? I have been thru wd way too many times to count and I never had wd sysmtoms after the most three weeks. 6 months was way too hard on me emotionally and physically. The biggest problem was I was in active addiction with sub.

I am not saying Iboga is for everyone.... does chit for benzo's and not the easiest on those hook on sub. If anxiety is a problem.. maybe not a good ideal also. For me... it worked great. It was not fun for me but really was not bad either. I am hoping my 2nd time it goes as smoothly for me. I just want all to know there is another option for a leg up. I have already been to rehab 3x in my life... had clean time, aa/na and just always failed. I will do anything short of killing another soul to keep what I have now.

<center>omission is not honesty, only different ways of lying</center>

Ripple

When people get to this forum we are in pretty bad shape-through multiple detoxes, rehabs, OD's, lost jobs, lost families, jail...My take is if all else has failed. Why not try ibogaine?

Ali_Montella

Maybe it was because after ur last dose of sub u never took any opiate or anything and reality sat in?..I mean before u was taking meth here and there and heroin too so maybe u wont clean for a persistent amount of time so thus of feeling depressed and crappy when not taking anything at all after sub?...Am not saying its not related to sub, am sure a lot of it was but sometimes when we are in an addiction cycle and then out then reality sits in and that in turn gives us fear and crappy feeling..

I know if did nothing i would have felt exactly the same as u, but maybe am younger and more active and that helped me, i dont know, everyone is different, but wish u the best in life anyway...God Bless.

Peace!.

"Where there is a Will there is a Way"

Bonita

Ty ALi..... but please dont forget that your more handsome too.

<center>omission is not honesty, only different ways of lying</center>

spinal_fusion

hey bonita -thanks so much for sharing this. i've followed your journey with much interest and it makes my day to hear that you're well.

Jymi

I can tell you from experience that boosters are much easier on the system, you are more functional through them and the recovery time is less than a day. Having someone familiar with the psychospiritual aspects of iboga near by can be helpful as the first 4 hours or so is full of emotional purging bringing you back to the present and out of your current pattern. It's rather easy to process but having someone you trust (in the heart) can help move you past feelings of separation as you may feel more at ease sharing hiden dirt in your soul with them. NO Caffeine the day of the booster.. Iboga resets your tolerance and dependence on this drug too and if used with iboga it can create uncomfortable anxiety as it will potentiate its effect.

<center>Never give children a chance of imagining that anything exists in isolation. Make it plain from the very beginning that all living is relationship. Show them relationships in the woods, in the fields, in the ponds and streams, in the village and in the country around it. Rub it in ~Aldous Huxley~</center>