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Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride,
the confession of shortcomings which the process requires
for its successful consummation.
But we saw that it really worked in others,
and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life
as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those
in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left but to pick up
the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet.
The solution is simple. The solution is spiritual.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Saving Our Lives Using The Inspiration Of Necessary Steps.
A MEMBER SHARES:
Hi all . I'm Robbie W. and I am a very grateful alcoholic today. I arrived here, broke, destitute, and suicidal, October 31, 1983. Then I found solutions by sitting in AA rooms. I was a problem. My whole life was a problem. I hated myself. I loved alcohol but it stopped working ... no more girls, no more jobs, and no more family. Alcohol was the great eraser. I hated everything, and just wanted to die. Then you oldtimers in AA gave me hope. You let me know that I could change, that I was a "sick" person who had a spiritual illness. You told me I could correct it if I worked on the spiritual solution. What? The Twelve Steps! I started going to Step Meetings, Joe and Charlie Weekends (Big Book), and Workshops on the Traditions. I discovered the Solution and I wanted it. I craved it, just like I used to crave alcohol. I craved the Fellowship, and I started liking the new me. It was cool getting into the Sunlight of the Spirit and out of the Darkness. Nothing grows in the darkness except defects! I needed to be happy, joyous and free from the bondage of self. Today, I am learning to be part of the Solution. Today, my friends don't need to walk on eggshells around me. Today, I can think of others before I make a stupid joke about them. Today, I have a God. AA is a way of life; it is not a theory. Today, I love that way of life. It is here for you, too. Are you irritable, restless and discontented? Then find a sponsor who lives the Twelve Steps . you, too, can recover! Love ya' all. Stay sober and get into the Big Book!
If AA were really guided by the Twelve Traditions,
we could not possibly be split apart by politics, religion, money,
or by any old-timers who might take a notion to be big shots.
With none of us throwing our weight around in public,
nobody could possibly exploit AA for personal advantage, that is sure.
For the first time I saw AA's anonymity for what it really is.
It isn't just something to save us from alcoholic shame and stigma;
its deeper purpose is actually to keep those fool egos of ours
from running hog wild after money and public fame at AA's expense.
It really means personal and group sacrifice for the benefit of all AA.
It took several years, but I learned to be grateful for my alcoholism
and the program of recovery it forced me into,
for all the things that had happened to me and for me,
for a life today that transcends and far exceeds anything I had previously known.
I could not have that today if I had not experienced all the yesterdays. . .
Adversity truly introduces us to ourselves.
but we need never deal with our adversities alone
as long as we can find another alcoholic in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness.
Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off,
nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn't quite belong.
Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others,
or we were noisy good fellows constantly craving attention and companionship,
but rarely getting it.
There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount
That's one reason we loved alcohol too well.
But even Bacchus betrayed us;
we were finally struck down and left in terrified isolation.
For the first time in my life, I was backed into a corner that I could not fight,
cheat, lie, steal, or buy my way out of. I was trapped.
For the first time in my life, I uttered a sincere prayer: "God, please help me."
I didn't bargain with Him, nor did I suggest how or when He should help.
Immediately, I became calm and relaxed. There was no flash of lightning,
or clap of thunder, not even a still small voice. I was scared.
I didn't know what had happened. But I went to sleep and slept all night.
When I awakened the next morning, I was refreshed, strong, and hungry.
But the most wonderful thing was that, for the first time in my life,
that dark, mysterious cloud of fear was gone.
When World War II broke out,
this spiritual principle had its first major test.
AA's entered the services and were scattered all over the world.
Would they be able to take discipline, stand up under fire,
and endure the monotony and misery of war?
Would the kind of dependence they had learned in AA carry them through?
Well, it did. They had even fewer alcoholic lapses or emotional binges
than AA's safe at home did.
They were just as capable of endurance and valor as any other soldiers.
Whether in Alaska or on the Salerno beachhead,
their dependence upon a Higher Power worked.
And far from being a weakness, this dependence
was their chief source of strength.
In the process of this change
I can recognize two immensely significant steps for me.
The first step I took when I admitted to myself for the first time
that all my previous thinking might be wrong.
The second step came when I first consciously wished to believe.
As a result of this experience I am convinced that to seek is to find,
to ask is to be given.
The day never passes that I do not silently cry out in thankfulness,
not merely for my release from alcohol, but even more
for a change that has given life new meaning, dignity, and beauty.
Practical experience shows
that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking
as intensive work with other alcoholics.
It works when other activities fail. . . You can help when no one else can. . .
Life will take on new meaning.
I spent most of my life worrying about myself,
thinking that I was unwanted,
that I was unloved.
I've learned since being in AA that the more I worry about me loving you,
and the less I worry about you loving me, the happier I'll be.
I discovered a fellowship of human beings that I'd never seen before.
I learned how to be a friend. . .
I have learned that the more I give, the more I will have;
the more I learn to give, the more I learn to live.
Information in this forum is not monitored or provided by a medical professional. The information reflects member opinions only. Do not act on advice from these forums without first consulting a qualified medical professional. All content is copyrighted and protected by Aelius Group.