while in active addiction....I absolutely had no choice,no power, no control....not only over drugs, but over my life.

as long as I have Power....I certainly do have choices today.

I have choices, make a meeting, sponser someone, do step work....maybe once i have had a spirtual experience then i have a choice, but if i am working step one i am sitting in god's grace still without choice and power and i am clean cause something else chooses, not me.


God i offer myself to thee- to build with me and do with me as thou wilt.

yes....as it says in Step ONe....we are Power-less. we have no Power. that comes as a result of working the steps.

with Power....comes freedom.....and yes, choice. Either we've been restored to sanity (spiritual experience), or we have not.

I think its important to realize what the word unmanageable means to each and every one of us. For me ..... my life was not umnanageable beacuase I chose to use drugs and alcohol to solve my problems. I proved that to myself when I would stop the drugs and alcohol, and my life was still (if not more) as unmanageable as before. Why? Because I took my solution (drugs) away and replaced it with nothing..... and now my thinking mind was even crazier then before. That, for me, is unmanageability ........ its not the substance, its my insane thinking which makes my life unmanageable.

T

unmanageability to this addict.....the gaping spiritual hole in my gut....with or without drugs. The spiritual void which manifested in every fiber of my being....how i related to the world, and to myself. sick...body, mind and spirit.

The fact that i was too deppressed to work, play with my beatufuil child, or do anything besides sit around and pout like a baby when i could not get that ease and comfort drugs gave me...that was unmanagable...The feeling like i had no purpose no reason to go on without drugs....i have a purpose today and i am sure you two are well aware of what it is....

Patrick T.
God i offer myself to thee- to build with me and do with me as thou wilt.

yes darlin.....you were all over page 52.

prey to misery and depression, couldn't be of real use to anyone, feeling of uselessness.... check.

and like you...my life has taken on new meaning. its truly a gift. beyond imagination.

I am all over 21 too! =>

Patrick T.
God i offer myself to thee- to build with me and do with me as thou wilt.