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  1. #1
    Mariposa's Avatar
    Mariposa is offline Senior Member
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    Default Newbie Detoxing from Methadone

    Hi everyone! Fantastic site. Exactly what I was looking for. The success stories are truly inspiring! The general public respects those who've risen to great challenges - marathoners, people who survived cancer, ex-POW's. I think people who've been on, and successfully detoxed from Methadone deserve the same respect and admiration! It takes massive courage, strength and tenacity! Well, since the general public won't say it, I will, "Yay you!"

    I am currently detoxing from Methadone at a rate of 1 mg every 5 days. Tomorrow I'll be dropped to 6mgs - from a high of 30. Therefore I've got about 1 month left.

    I'm very nervous about the jump off. My job is really important, and I don't want to screw it up by taking more than a sick day or two...

    My boring background (in case someone's still reading)- in college, someone introduced me to heroin. Though I didn't realize it until much later, from childhood I have always suffered from inordinate amounts of anxiety - headaches, chest pain (as a 15 year old!), painfully shy, etc. I was really nervous to try the H, but when I did - OH MAN! I seem to recall saying "This is the best drug EVER!!!" What I had always been looking for my whole life...The bliss and relief!

    I struggled with addiction for the next ten years or so - including moving across the country to get away from it. I'd been clean for about 4 years in my new city when the "opportunity" to start up a new habit presented itself about two years ago. Like anyone with a long addiction history, I became readdicted on day 1. Quickly I was spending up to $75 a day. I got mugged and almost had my arm broken at one drug house. Was robbed at gunpoint on the street a few months later. Watched my savings drain and struggled to keep up appearances at my corporate job.

    I knew what methadone is all about - because I knew what heroin was all about. And was therefore scared to death of methadone. But, one day I was like "F-it! If I'm going to be an opiate addict, I should at least do it a lot more cheaply, and in an environment where someone else is dispensing the drugs." So I went to my local clinic.

    I told them to stop at the entry dose (30 mg). And, after a month or so, asked them to start detoxing me. Wow - just from my little experience here, I can tell what an incredibly powerful, frightening drug methadone is. It's hard to explain to the doctors and counselors who've never used how scary this drug is. It's hard to even verbalize, but you other methadone (former) users understand. Compared to heroin, methadone feels like it really grabs on to you to your core. Every molecule of your body feels taken over by it.

    Well, in a month I should be done. I'm mostly worried about that week or two after period. A) I want to keep doing well at my job, and B) I don't want to give in to temptation to make myself feel better for 'just' one day.

    Well, if you made it this far. Thanks for listening to my boring, and sadly all too common tale. I hope to be among the "Success stories" in a couple of months.

    -M'dont

  2. #2
    Jack Butler's Avatar
    Jack Butler is offline Senior Member
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    M'dont,
    Welcome to ODR! Sounds like you're in the right place. Congrats on the decision not to stay on methadone. You are saving your body and spirit a lot of pain and loss.

    I look forward to seeing you around the boards, Methadont.

    Peace!


    jb





    Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.
    -F. Scott Fitzgerald

  3. #3
    sudokudee's Avatar
    sudokudee is offline Senior Member
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    Hi Methadont....Welcome to the forum.:)

    You are totally right about the feeling of accomplishment you get when you manage to make it off methadone. And the people on this forum know just how hard that is.......even though most of the rest of the world does not.

    It sounds like you are doing an excellent taper. It is really admirable that you never went above 30 mg. at a methadone clinic and that they are agreeing to detox you after one month. Most methadone clinics would not be this cooperative, so that is fantastic. I used clonidine after I jumped off methadone and it was really helpful for me. I would highly recommend it.

    dee



    Dee--off MMT 9-12-06

  4. #4
    Mariposa's Avatar
    Mariposa is offline Senior Member
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    Thanks to the above for the welcome.

    Yeah, the program director said I was really lucky I randomly picked their clinic (it was the first place I could find a phone number for). There are quite a few clinics in my downtrodden city. According to the director, most of them are just profit making schemes, where they have no incentive to ever get anyone off. And the atmosphere outside is the stereotypical open air drug market. I've seen it.

    The place I go to is affiliated with a university. Not sure if that's what makes it better. But they're pretty flexible - I get to dose before they're officially open so I can make it across town to work in time. And I don't have to attend the group sessions that are during the middle of the day.

    When I told them I wanted to detox - they said they thought it was a great idea, and are constantly recalibrating my dose as I go - so I can get off as quickly as possible with a minimum of discomfort.

    Well, I hope everyone is / has had a great Valentine's day. I'm cooking my beloved a pizza from scratch - which, I can't share in eating. My eating "window" closes about 4-5 pm (ie within 8 to 9 hours after I dose). After that time, I can't eat anything - unless I want to wake up in a panic at midnight running to the toilet trying not to puke in the hall. That's been my most annoying symptom so far (among all the thousand other little annoying things that occur, the fun never ends!!!)

    Respect to you all,
    M'dont

  5. #5
    Mariposa's Avatar
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    Taper Update:

    I'm obsessively nervous about the jump-off. My counselor is making it sound like there's no way I'll be able to go to work, and it'll be hellish. He's telling me to make sure I have sick days lined up, and someone to support me at home, like I won't even be able to care for myself.

    But, I think his experience is with detoxing people with much longer histories and higher doses. I went to the clinic in October 2007, never went over 30mg, and started tapering after only a month there.

    I know everyone is different. But, I feel like it won't be that bad.

    Still, he has me scared. Did anyone else here (maybe with a more "mild" habit) taper off and manage to work, keep up their life and obligations through it?

  6. #6
    peacenik is offline Administrator
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    mdon't,
    It won't be that bad. It's great you never got that high, and have been on a short time. Methadone is an insidious drug though, even though the level of your habit to it is not very high, the grip it has on your body is strong nonetheless.

    What I'm thinking is you won't have much acute stuff, but you'll probably feel out of it for a while. How long? I don't know, but since you've used off and on for 10 years, I'd say you may have PAWS for a few months or so.

    You probably will be able to continue with your life, but the thing is, you won't feel like it. You've kicked before, so you probably know that "fish-out-of-water" feeling, well when you come off methadone maintenence, that feeling lingers for a while.....hopefully not too long for you.


    One of the good things about it methadon't, is that many of us realise in kicking methadone, that we've reached the end of the line. Kicking seems to get harder and harder every time, and like I did, I think you'll want to make this your last time.
    Dave




    <center>"More will be revealed"</center>

  7. #7
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    Hi Methadont ~ I have come off methadone before and also am well experienced at how awful it can be. the bright side is there are some natural supplements you can buy that will help greatly. I have always had a problem with my brain not working right in the sense that I was ADHD wrongly diagnosed in the 1970's as a "bad" kid. Always felt something was missing, like I needed something to feel "normal".
    Using Essential fatty acids has cured my insomnia and given me a sense of well being settled my anxiety etc.
    The day you take no more Methadone is the day you start using Evening Primrose Oil bought at a health food store and it will sooth those receptors that are thinking about crying out for Methadone, also Vitamin C in many useful forms will be used. There are all kinds of things that are natural , have been used for thousands of years and work.
    the whole planet is going back to more natural things as we have seen so much damage from pharmaceuticals, take Heath Ledger for example. If he had consulted a Naturopath he would still be alive today.
    You will be fine, I'll work with you if you like.

    Love carleen
    PS WELCOME to the forum, cool people here.
    Lots of love and sound advice. especially the old timers, talk about devotion!

    "Wrinkles should show where smiles have been." Mark Twain
    Remember.... Call on Jesus for Strength He has promised to help us
    see
    2 CORINTHIANS 12:9and 10 : "And He said unto me,"My grace is sufficient for
    you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

  8. #8
    arlenewla is offline Senior Member
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    How are you doing at this point, Carleen...where do you stand on your Methadone and taper?

    Arlene F.
    Exodus From MMT;12-25-02
    <center>THIS TOO SHALL PASS</center>

  9. #9
    Mariposa's Avatar
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    mammapoppy- I'm all about the using nutrition and natural, milder substances to work through issues. I'm googling Evening Primrose Oil and Essential Fatty Acids next.

    Thanks for the suggestions! And I agree, from what little I've seen there are lots of good and very bright people here!

  10. #10
    Mariposa's Avatar
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    I've been forcing myself to exercise - if you can call it that - over the past few days. And, I actually think it's helping. It's really wintry where I am, too cold for walking outside - especially in my permanently chilled state - so I've been walking up and down the stairs in the highrise where I work. It helps to warm me up too, cuz I'm, well, you know, fuhREEzing. I wonder what my office mate must think!?! A few months ago when I was on the higher doses of meth, I had to keep a paper towel by my computer to periodically mop the sweat pouring down the back of my neck and forehead. And now I sit at my desk in a down parka!
    Anyway, I think that the exercise is helping. Either that, or it's the calm before the storm!?!
    I'm in a blind detox - but my counselor is pretty open with me about where I'm at. I think around March 14 should be my LAST DAY!!!

  11. #11
    Mariposa's Avatar
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    Weird phenomena.

    Anyone else have any experience with this? I don't know a lot about drug testing. As I've mentioned, I'm currently at 4 milligrams. Last time I had a counselling appointment (when I was prolly around 6 mg. per day) my counsellor told me not only was I testing negative for all the drugs they screen for, but I was also testing negative for methadone! I guess I'm below the cutoff now? He showed me the computer screen.
    I was testing positive for methadone metabolites. I geuss meaning that even though I didn't test positive for meth, they can tell my body is breaking it down, and therefore I'm not using someone else's urine.
    But I did notice that some weeks, even the metabolite test was negative!
    Amazing! That so little of a substance that is barely chemically detectable in your system can have you dancing with jitters, throwing up, heart pounding, joints aching, nerves singing, etc, etc, etc.

  12. #12
    arlenewla is offline Senior Member
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    quote:Originally posted by Methadont

    I've been forcing myself to exercise -

    Anyway, I think that the exercise is helping. Either that, or it's the calm before the storm!?!
    Exercise will definitely help. Without doubt...and I like your attitude....force yourself. That's exactly what I did...pushed myself.

    The only proviso I would add is not to do hard impact stuff without warming up. We tend to have some brittle-ness going on coming off of Methadone. So, easy does it. Brisk walking, dancing....light exercise to start..but by all means...keep it up.

    The endorphins will jump start. It also helps incredibly with depression as an after effect of WD.

    Arlene F.
    Exodus From MMT;12-25-02
    <center>THIS TOO SHALL PASS</center>

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