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This Is Me .. (help)

Discussion in 'Detoxing From Buprenorphine/Subutex/Suboxone' started by ReadyForChange, Nov 22, 2010.

  1. Ali_Montella

    Ali_Montella Well-Known Member

    Go on redyforchange, that's good news..I agree with your statment about one's thinking and frame of mind. It all depends on many factors and how we think, also self-esteem plays a big role too as well as personality and views on life. It doesn't matter how one has been brought up because end of the day it comes down to us individuals. We can't keep using excuses in life, we have to make the most of where we are now. If you think postive, keep occupied, keep busy and get into some pshycal routine then it's more then doable. It gets better each day. But yes I agree everybody is different, just because some suffered horrible affects it doesn't mean others will suffer as much, not everybody is the same. If you stay grounded and just stay strong anything is possible. But we all suffer to some extent, it just depends who can stick through it and not give up, and that again comes down to our mind and heart and personality. Keep going man, am happy for ya.

    Wish people a quick smooth recovery!
  2. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    thank you!! :)
  3. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Finishing day 14 here TWO WEEKS! That's awesome. A friend wanted me to take a ride out of town today, I'll admit .. I am used to "using" around this friend even though he doesn't or hasn't ever used drugs or suboxone. So today was the first time hanging out without me being on subs. I got a lil intimidated that I'd withdrawal and it would be noticeable. But .. because I pushed myself up and out the door and said "I am going to have a good day, I will not ponder the negative aspects of this process" I was able to make it through and had a very enjoyable ride.

    I am TIRED, lack of sleep lastnight (4 hours) well, 3-5 hours the past week and a half has taken its toll. Hopefully I can rest. Gonna keep doing the what I do, pushing forward. Thanks for the support all. I'm really tired, gonna call 'er a night.
  4. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Day 16 here :D

    I'm still getting diarrhea but not the "rumble" like early on. The knees ache at night and seem to go away during the day :) As for sleep, it's getting a little easier. Napping during the day and getting at least 3 at night. Not taking anything for it. Strong appetite, eating all the time.

    I am down to 1 Clonidine a day. Tapering off that. Other than that, I'll be taking the tylenol for the aches. It's bearable and it does get better. My days are so much more, I can honestly say that. I've been drinking a lot of water, a lot. Forcing myself out of the house, well, not even "force" anymore .. just have to get motivated. It's actually coming pretty easy lately to get up and go.

    Remain strong everyone, we can do this! It does get better, it really, honestly does. Just gotta hold each thought captive and keep pushing forward. God Bless.
  5. Sharon x

    Sharon x New Member

    Ready for change: i reply to your post x i know exactly where you are just now x as i my friend am in the exact same place, although I am in a relation-ship x I am soooo weak at the mo and even typing is a great challenge x i stopped subs at 2mg 7 days ago x I screwed up and used heroin for 48 hrs x so really i am on the 5th - 6th day x this is the hardest part - ive been here b4 many a time x heroin, methadone, subs any opiate ive been there for 14 yrs now!! This may sound crazy but I look at these opiates/addictions as tho they are a person i am fighting, or a demon may be more appropriate x don't tell me the government cant do something - anything to stop all this evil **** still being grown!! as for docs writing up a prescription - don't make me laugh!! Bet they wouldn't fire these pills down their own kids throats!! They do not have enough experience with these very potent lethal drugs to have the authorisation to give them out!! Anyway, i am very angry right now as i am at the peak of cold turkey x but to any1 out there thinking about it - don't waste any more precious time - just get on with it x i have and i have been to hell and back!! sexually abused as a child by my own father and it certainly doesn't stop there x my husband claims he loves me but i can see the marriage fall apart real soon, even tho he has supported me all the way x x x Good luck to all of you x May your inner strength WIN X O X
  6. jdude

    jdude Well-Known Member

    Welcome Sharon.....sage advice!
  7. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    The very best of luck to you as well. Stay strong! Don't lose sight of the greater goal of getting your life back. It's very easy to get angry, I share in your anger at the ease and misguidance by sub doctors. People need to be made aware of what they are getting into .. not tricked. That's how it feels y'know?

    Today is day 18 for me. Down to 1 clonidine a day, I have 2 more doses left. That would mark day 20. The fatigue is what is getting me really bad right now. Day; 16 and 17 .. it felt like I was back at day 3 and 4. Is this normal? To have really, really good days than .. all of a sudden it feels like back to square one? I read where others have stated this. I am trying not to get discouraged and I know it will pass, but man, the headache/fatigue and over-all "sludge" feeling kind of depresses me at times.

    I was wondering if the decrease in Clonidine could play a role. I seemed to be doing fine when I was taking it x3 daily .. and noticed that since I've been cutting it down, the fatigue is ever present. Any remedies or advice outside of asking for more? Thank God I don't have the urge to use subs, but I don't like feel this crappy sometimes. If there are natural ways to feel better, I'll take that route first. I have been getting out of the house. Yesterday we traveled over 2 hours to spend the day and do some shopping .. I was no fun .. it was no fun .. I was tired, had a headache and knee aches. I only thought about getting home and even fell asleep in the truck while they were in a store. Felt like a chore to be part of the group. I need some advice on when I might expect this to pass or what I can do to alleviate it naturally.

    I am using icy hot for the knee aches; along with cut socks that I pull up around them. It really does help! Find a tight pair of tube socks that can be spared, cut the footie part off and bring them over the knees, amazing. I have motrin and aspirin for the other aches, but even then, still feel it. Muscle/Joint/Fatigue are the 3 big ones. I burn myself out each day, hoping to get some sort of suitable sleep .. so far, it's been working.

    Above all, thank you all for the support. VERY much appreciated. STAY STRONG all .. hold each thought captive and keep pushing forward. God Bless.
  8. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    I don't think the decrease in clonidine has anything to do with how you feel... in fact I think that decreasing it will help you if the acute wd is over for you....

    Everyone is different, different heath issues, different pain/discomfort thresholds.... We all went thru the led legs, fatigue and down right depression after sub.. everyones recovery time is different.

    Your doing the right thing on trying to get out, exercise. Hun.. time. You need time now away from sub. The further away, the better you will feel.
  9. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Starting day 21 here. 3 WEEKS! This past week has been very interesting to say the least. A couple of the days it felt like I was back at day 3 and 4 then it passed and I've had some of the most amazing days thus far. They are right when they say; "It does get better".

    Bonita, you were right. Being off the clonidine has helped me to realize just where I'm at in my detox/acute WD stage. I am an advocate from Clonidine for sure, get some lined up before making that jump. It did its job, got me through what I hope was the worst of the worst. 3 days off Clonidine and only taking the occasional Motrin, Icy Hot and doing my best to say busy in my mind and body.

    Busy with Christmas, haven't been around to post updates, sorry. I am continuing to pray for each and every one of you. The clarity that comes with being clean, truly, truly amazing. Yesterday I learned how to change out a breaker box switch, water heater thermostat and elements haha. My friend was like; "You sure you want to help, climb under the house to turn off the water and remove the sediment from the tank?" I was like, "Hell Yeah" just gotta do everything I can to keep

    I'm just doing my best here, trying to stay in that determined mind-frame. Holding each negative thought captive in my mind, not letting it run wild .. dangerous things happen when I let them evade me. Also, does anyone remember seeing the "detoxifying foot bandages" or whatever .. can't remember the name. They are from China and apparently, you stick them to the bottom of your feet and it draws out toxins from your body. The reason I ask this, I was skeptic when I watched the infomercial but lately, the past couple days .. the only thing that has been VERY sweaty have been my feet. Kinda makes ya think.

    Stay strong all, keep pushing forward. You CAN do this, we ARE doing this! God Bless You.
  10. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Good Morning,

    Starting day 27 here and it's getting a lot easier. Continuing what I've been doing, trying to get out each day and do something that is tiring .. well, not only tiring but productive. Using aspirin and icy hot for the aches. Fatigue is a killer, I have to take breaks out and a short rest. Usually after a few minutes and forcing myself back up, I'm able to get out and continue. Muscle aches I've noticed, but not as much, mostly in my arms and calves. Over all though, each day is getting a lot easier.

    I attended an AA meeting last night, was my first time ever. It was great to hear from others who are in recovery. Here, they combine both NA and AA .. depending on the testimony or person sharing. It was great, met some nice people. Doing my best each day to push forward. Pray for me as I pray for you.

    Continue the path in a clean direction, find that inner strength! Just one day at a time.
  11. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Hey all,

    Wanted to stop in and give an update on how I'm doing. It's been 39 days since my last dose (taper) and its a great feeling knowing where I've been and where I'm going. The worst of the worst seems to be over, the only thing that seems to linger is the fatigue, achey joints/muscles and minor sleep disturbances. Its definitely nothing like it was back at week 1 or week 2. More manageable for sure. Any advice does help though, I can still very much use the support and guidance.

    I'm having a lot of moments of clarity and I now understand more than ever the 'fog' of addiction and what we over-look when on subs. All is well, things are going great. Still taking it one day at a time .. I'm down to advil and still force myself up at times. But trust me, it is getting a ton easier to do so.

    I continue to pray for you all, just be strong. Pray and as for guidance and relief. I'm proud of y'all.
  12. Msmessup

    Msmessup Well-Known Member

    Awesome. Good for u.
  13. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Hey All,

    47 days and counting here. All seems to be going well, continuing to take it one day at a time. I'm grateful that I've made it this far and each day that I'm clean. I'm finally starting to sleep on my own, not getting as much as I would with trazadone but 5-6 hours on my own, that's pretty good. The knees seem to ache only when I'm waking up, once I'm either up or asleep, I don't seem to notice it. Getting minor headaches, mostly tension .. but nothing unbearable. I understand that I've been putting pills into my body for the last 6 years.. it's going to take more than a month and a half .. or even 6 months or longer to feel 100%. So, the easiest thing to do is to be thankful for today.

    Continue to stay strong in a positive mind-frame. Know that it does get better. The bad days at this point are NOTHING like the detox stage .. physically it has gotten so much better. I'm praying for you all. God Bless.
  14. Msmessup

    Msmessup Well-Known Member

    Awesome. U give me hope, thanks. R u excersizing at all?? I just started gettin back into it and I feel great. Just 3 days of an hour workout at the gym has really improved my attitude, my body, my mind, its great and I HIGHLY reccomend it. Try it and tell me how u feel. Keep up the good work ur doing awesome.
  15. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member


    @ Msmessup: Glad I could help inspire or give hope, you're welcome. To answer your question; Yes, I started out with jumping jacks and running in place .. that made a world of difference, mostly for sleep. I noticed when my body was drained after a work out, I would sleep a lot easier and longer. I also noticed I felt better day by day with more energy. Thanks for the support. Good Luck to you.

    Finding day 57 here, as always .. one day at time. It feels good, having this clarity and natural energy. I feel great, maybe an ache here or there but its temporary and goes away. I'm sleeping most of the night on my own but I have advil pm on hand. Everything really does become magnified, I FINALLY understand that 'fog' I read about here. I had NO idea I was living life like that, I knew it wasn't healthy and now that I've had 57 days being off, I'm starting to repair those voids that were set in place. I might have low energy during the day, maybe flat out tired sometimes .. but not as long or as bad as it was even 3 weeks ago. All in good time.

    Just gotta take each day as it presents itself. Knowing where I've been, where I'm coming from and now, what I hope for .. that keeps me humble and gives me hope. I pray for you all; for strength and determination. It will get easier, just gotta take initiative. My sister uses the motto: "It is what it is", it helps here to not get frustrated. I like and it and used it a few times, but I ended up creating my own; "Take Action". If you don't like something, or if something is getting you down, find the root and take action. Pray for me as I pray for you. God Bless.
  16. jdude

    jdude Well-Known Member

    Hey Ready.....congrats on the progress!!

    And double kudos on a spot on post regarding recovery....and life.

  17. It is what it is is right on! Keep moving forward!!!
  18. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Hey All,

    Wanted to stop in for a sec to let y'all know how I'm doing. Dec. 2nd was my jump date and I haven't looked back (Thank God) and I've adopted the concept; One Day At a Time! I am very much an addict with the ability to talk myself into our out of anything, scary. It's been over 3 months and I'm feeling better than ever! I managed to put cigarettes down as well!

    Remember; YOU CAN DO THIS! Whether you are getting clean or staying clean, you can do it. One day at a time my friend, a lot of patience and attempting not to be frustrated. Hold each thought captive, when those thoughts of using creep in .. GRAB IT and suppress it. Call your support systems, let people know how you're doing and how you're feeling. Most of all; PRAY! Thats what worked for me and I pray it works for you.
  19. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Hey All,

    I wanted to stop in and say hello, t's been awhile that I've been able to log in. I hope all is going well for each and every one of you. June 2nd marked 6 months clean off of suboxone :) it has been an interesting 6 months to say the least, I ended up moving from my home state (MT) to WA and now NV. Not sure where I'll plant my feet next but since this ball and chain called Suboxone has been unlocked, I am free to go and anything!

    I am here to support and advise anyone who is wants it. I have been there and I'm still not out of the red. But any encouragement I can offer, I will do just that. This site has helped me in ways I can't even express, the people here have been amazing! For those going through the WD's .. STICK IT OUT! It truly does get better. For those attempting to taper down, it's annoying but soon will be worth it .. stick to the plan! and finally, for those who have been clean for awhile and who may be struggling .. STAY CLEAN! We can do, we are doing it .. one day at a time my friends.
  20. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Hello All,

    Just thought I'd share an e-mail I sent to someone seeking advice/help. I hope this advice can encourage others who are in a taper process or thinking of starting one;

    Here is what I've learned through N.A. and through other sources; Addiction equals death, whether that death be a physical one or a spiritual, financial, emotional or mental. When we are in active addiction, the fog it creates causes a slow death of our natural resources.

    I had to "tough it out and hope for the best" to FINALLY see/feel what those who were clean were actually talking about. When I was using, I would read and hear people say; "It feels amazing after you get clean, I almost feel normal" or "Once the fog is gone, you see just how numb you really were" but I doubted them, and their advice. I simply thought a sober/clean life wasn't possible for me, I felt like a lost cause.

    I am here to say that YES, it is possible to get a hold of this evil substance called Suboxone/Subutex.

    About your questions;

    1. How did I go from .5MG's to 0MG's?

    I didn't, I jumped at .5MG's. I tapered from 6MG's to .5 in a little over a month. The constant reduction about once a week, and yes, I felt the withdrawal during the process. It wasn't unbearable, but for a selfish addict like me, I made it worse than it really was or had to be by focusing on the physical withdrawal, being stubborn etc. But once I gained momentum with the taper, I became determined to stick it out and created a mental strong hold to "just stick to the plan".

    2. How long did the intense WD last after jumping?

    I had 'comfort meds' lined up; Clonodine (minor blood pressure medication), Rapid release extra strength Tylenol, Trazadone (sleep medication), Imodium AD (diarrhea medication), and a multi-vitamin. I also had comfort foods on hand; Tons of water, kool-aid, fruits (banana's mostly) and Jello's.

    Although the Clonodine alleviates most of the major withdrawals, the worst seemed to be the achey legs/joints, lack of sleep and mild/severe fatigue. I used Icey Hot on my joints as well as a hot bath, sometimes twice a day. I could barely sleep, I would pray for sleep and the it eventually came to where I was getting 3-4 hours a night about 3 weeks into being clean. The fatigue lasted about 45 days total, it was really bad the first 3 weeks. When you hear people say; "Force yourself up, take a walk or get some exercise" they are not lying! It is the LAST thing you feeling like doing, but if you can force yourself up and give it your best shot, you will sleep easier/longer and heal faster.

    The length/severity of our WD's vary depending on our physical health and age. You will hear horror stories from those who suffered greatly and some who seemed to suffer less and those who claim to have suffered much less. Either way, don't let someone else' experience hinder you or scare you, it is a one person journey and nobody can tell you exactly how long it will be or how good/bad it may be.

    One thing I know that is SURE to help you? You have to WANT this for yourself. Although it is good to want to get off these for your wife/children/family or because of your doctor (not saying this is your situation) but to be successful, a person has to WANT this for THEMSELVES and nobody else. Any anger or hurt you feel, use it as fuel to boost your motivation and determination. Seek support from those you trust, let them know how you are feeling.

    I am not a professional, just a person who understands and went through this process. If anyone feels they could use some advice/support/help from me, I am here.

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