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This Is Me .. (help)

Discussion in 'Detoxing From Buprenorphine/Subutex/Suboxone' started by ReadyForChange, Nov 22, 2010.

  1. IWantOff

    IWantOff Active Member

    How long did the WDs get worse before finally starting to feel a little more tolerable? I want to stay strong, but I feel I need a goal in mind. Am I going to feel like this for a week? A month?
    Thank you!
  2. shar586

    shar586 Well-Known Member

    Hi, just caught up on your thread, as Ive been away for a short time. You seem to be doing really well, and have it covered as best as can be expected. As far as the smoking issue goes, if your serious about stopping smoking, Id stop now whilst your at it. It may seem like a mad move to make, as many people feel their fags are there only 'friend' at times like these. I stopped both heroin and smoking tobacco/skunk at the same time, and I have no regrets. Its much easier than what you think on a physical level, as long as you want to stop on a mental level. It even makes you feel great, and aids your recovery and especially your mental wellbeing, as you feel so clean and healthy. Its very empowering.
    I think its great that your family is so supportive, and especially that your sister is helping you out at home, this is in-valuable, which Im sure you know. I couldnt even do basic tasks at my worst part of the days, which lately merged into most of the day and night, and if it wasnt for my partner Id have been sitting in my own filth at one point . . . :p
    Anyhow, Id like to wish you all the best in regard to your recovery. Just keep it going and take each day one at a time. You havent come this far for nothing. ;)
  3. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Awww, thanks Shar. Yeah, my family knows what I'm dealing with and although they don't fully understand, I'm trying to be as patient as possible. My sister, she asked in detail how I felt and what I have planned. So far each day she is like; "5 days, awesome .. just a couple more short weeks" that really does go a long way.

    Cigarettes taste so nasty right now .. no kidding. I had to have a friend taste it to make sure the pack wasn't out-dated. He said they were fine. So yes, I am considering tossing them as well. I've been smoking for a very long time and they are a crutch right now while I'm going through these WD's. Thing is, even though I knew I'd be smoking through this process, I can't .. or when I do, it's very little. Very uncommon for someone like to have a pack of smokes last 6 days. Unheard of really. :)

    As for the lack of energy, I hear ya. My room .. the night stand .. full of water bottles, soft food wrappers, medication bottles and such. Even at one point, after my sister would bring dinner in to me, I'd just set the plate there .. nasty. She said she can't stand to see someone live like that but understands, so she's helped out big time. I am thankful to God for her help.

    THANK YOU above all for the support and encouragement. Starting out day 7 and the sun is shining SO bright.
  4. IWantOff

    IWantOff Active Member

    I hope I can make it to day 7. Thanks for the inspiration.
  5. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Hey there IWO,

    The sun will surely shine bright for you. I guarantee it. Did you get some clonidine lined up? That's what is making this bearable. I am praying for ya.
  6. IWantOff

    IWantOff Active Member

    Thanks Ready. Yes, Ive been taking chlonidine every few hours. It expired a year ago, so I'm wondering if that'll make it less effective or if I could take an extra one. I left a voice mail for my sub doc hours ago but the sob hasn't bother to return my call.
    I'm supposed to work tomorrow. Pretty nervous. Thanks for your prayers. I need them.
  7. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    I don't know about out-dated Clon or it's effect or lack thereof. I hope it serves you well and is safe. Work huh? You know, as dreadful as that sounds, most say that because they were forced out of the house or off the couch, it helped them to recover a lot quicker. Hopefully this will be the case with you. -- As for the prayers, anytime!! We all need it.
  8. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    I did work thru my sub detox... it was a great help in doing so.

    Don't fret the yr old clonidine.. the shelf life is very long.. way pass what they put on the label. I would advise to be careful taking clonidine ever few hours... what will happen is your BP will bottom out and you'll end up on the floor.. hopefully not after falling down the steps or something like that. Though clonidine is short acting.. no need to take more then every 8 hours. In fact it can be pretty dangerous.... If your looking for the catapress to take away all the symptoms.. that is not going to happen.

    Hang tight.. this is very doable. Drink plenty of fld, ensure proper electrolyte balance by eating fruits, gateraid. Immodium is very helpful.

    Will be reading and pulling for ya.
  9. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member


    As for the clonidine use, mine dosage is as follows;
    0.1MG @ 9 am
    0.1MG @ 3 pm
    0.1MG @ 9 pm
    -sleep- hopefully

    I won't take a hot bath unless I've had at least 5 hours past my last dosage. Earlier on when I started taking it, I was loopy and staggering everywhere. Getting up way to fast, taking a shower 2 hours after dosing and getting VERY dizzy. Bonita is right, be careful.

    Clonidine is amazing, honestly! The only other detox I can relate to is the failed one in 2009 and this time it's nothing like that. Thanks to the support/inspiration I read here everyday, the determination and desire to be free, the comfort meds (clon, traz, imodium, fluids and tylenol). This forum really is priceless and it gets me emotional when I think about the compassion that goes into each case from random people who just want to help because they've been there. God Bless You.

    Today is day 8 (technically) and I've taken a hot bath @ 2:30 am .. can't sleep. My body feels great, no aching or anything but these prolonged hours of being awake make it hard to feel 'good'. I am not going to complain, for me, refraining from it makes it more bearable. Just holding onto that hope and promise that "It does get better". :)

    I can already say; I feel a ton better than I did when I was using. I have an appetite, don't even have to force food down. I'm putting on weight, I can feel it. wOOt. I feel especially good after at least 5 hours of sleep and moderate exercise. Above all, knowing I'm not relying on subs has been monumental for my willpower and confidence. Today I went through and eliminated all the "behaviors" that were routine while I was using. I cancelled a few gaming memberships, threw away all the straws I'd use to snort and emptied out the "crush plates". When my ex-dealers text to tell me they have something, I replied; "You have the wrong number, please don't text or call here again". I mean, that was HUGE for me to do. Out of sight, out of mind right?

    I wish for all of us a speedy recovery and a smooth transition back into a healthier, more enjoyable, sub free life! Keep that desire in your heart to be clean, do your absolute best to imagine that life without this horrible drug. YOU CAN DO IT .. WE CAN DO IT .. WE ARE DOING IT. Just take it one day at time, nobody know how we will actually feel tomorrow, could go either way but ... as long as we are clean today. God Bless!
  10. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    Taken clonidne that way is cool.... dont know where I got the impression that you were taking it ever few hours. You sound very determine and that is what it takes to get thru the sub wd.

    Sleep sucked for me also during the wd.. I finally had to use big guns to get 6 hours and it did make a big difference for me. I still have problems sleeping here and there. As you can see I am here reading and posting.. but today it just dosnt bother me as much. Of course I am not in wd so not sleeping just cause I cant sleep is more acceptable in my mind. I have learn that If I was gonna have one of those nights.. just get up. I have already clean the kitchen and palor.. now taking another break from cleaning the piano.

    kinda wish there was a chat room we could go too... would be closer to 3d.

    Well... jsut wanted to say you sound great and having an appitite so soon is a great sign that you will recover pretty fast.
  11. I feel your pain and wish I could take it all away.

    As hard as it is, and I know it is extremely hard, you must find the smallest iota of strength to keep going forward. As lame as this may sound; you can do it. Destroy it or it will destroy you. You need not be a slave any longer. Not a slave to anything or anyone. I'm sorry for the lack of words right now, this post has struck a raw nerve.

    By the way, I'm a new member and a recovering addict.
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2010
  12. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Hey there Ricken,

    First off, thanks for the support! Means a lot. This journey has had me emotional from the start, a 29 year old man .. just so sensitive to almost everything. It's a good thing though, means I can feel again. I search for that smallest speck of hope each and every day, in a time where dark clouds are lurking, I find the smallest speck of light and do my absolute best to magnify it. You are SO right man, we CAN do it.

    About the slave thing; that is EXACTLY how I felt and how they treat me. They would see the desperation on my face, hear it in my voice, the fear of not having a dose.. like a puppet on their strings, I'd have to give a song and dance before they sold me anything. Oh man, this is gonna make me cry lol. No more though, hell no. I love myself a lot more than I did, and they will never kick me while I'm down again. Neither them nor sub.

    THANK YOU for the support and WELCOME to the site. Please, continue to post. I want to read your story and follow your journey. I wish you the very best of luck in the coming days/months/years.
  13. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Greetings All,

    Starting Day 9 here and I wanted to give an update on how it's been thus far. I know I've said that by refraining from complaining, that it makes it a lot easier for me. That is so true but I do want to express what has been taking place.

    Using: 0.1MG Clonidine 3 times a day // Multivitamin once a day // Aspirin whenever I feel the aches in the knees // Trazadone for sleep along with a hot bath.

    So far this process has been bearable, each day is getting better. Day 6 was by far the best day, I felt NORMAL .. didn't use the 2 doses of Clonidine that day, that's how good I felt. I knew I wasn't out of the woods and would experience "up and down" days. But it felt SO good to know that days like that are right around the corner. Also, the increased appetite with food tasting better, huge plus. I was 146 lbs. when I was being weighed in the 2nd of this month. For my height, I should be around 175-185 lbs. I gained 4 pounds thus far, wOOt.

    Now, for the not-so-good aspects of this thing; (please, don't let this discourage any of you). LACK OF SLEEP! This is by far the hardest part of my detox. Even with sleeping aids, hot baths, calming music, total darkness and zero noise, I find myself only getting sleep in 2 hour intervals. Usually 4-4 1/2 hrs. per night. It's when I have poor sleep that the aches and pains seem to peak. Secondly, FATIGUE ... I honestly don't know which is worse, lack of sleep or fatigue .. they go hand in hand. On nights where I get at least 6 hours, like on day 6 .. I felt awesome. But other than that, the fatigue is a real drainer and it can feel depressing not being able to move around. But with the advice of 'forcing' ones self up to move around, that seems to help a lot.

    The diarrhea seems to come and go based on what I eat. I stay away from dairy products for sure. I read somewhere that "soft foods" were best, so I went out and picked up some butterscotch pudding, bad move! Some is loose, some solid .. over all, it feels good knowing my body is starting to function normally and without assistance. I will however; use Immodium if it gets like it did on day 4. Part of the problem that day was, all the stomach acid I was passing while using the RR. Wanna talk painful? I DREADED going to restroom. The doc prescribed some great acid reducing medication. :)

    If any of you have insurance and don't feel right, see your doc about getting exactly what it is you need to make this process a little/ a lot easier. I mean, we should not forget the discomfort that comes along with our detox, so it can serve as a reminder of what we put ourselves through. But if this process can be made easier, especially those with other health problems/ailments, def. stick with your doc.

    Above all though, it's my way of thinking has brought me this far. That determination and desire to be free and to live. I had some bad cravings yesterday, I felt like .. "I want to get high" and remember reading here someplace that "It will pass, don't pay attention to it". So I didn't .. and you know what? It passed. Instead of pondering whether or not to use, I came here and read some stories and added some more armor for the fight. I honestly, honestly can't express the gratitude I feel to the creators of this site and their moderators! God Bless You.

    Pray for me as I pray for you. We CAN get through this. Stay Strong. One day at a time.
  14. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Hey All,

    Finishing day 9 and starting day 10 here :) and the 'good' days are starting to roll in. I know these days will fluctuate, but I cling to them. Tonight was a VERY pleasant night. Ate dinner, took a hot bath and man, I felt amazing for like 5 hours. Absolutely pain free and comfortable. I talked with my real-time support system, a friend who was also on subs and after 3 unsuccessful attempts, was finally able to put them down. She is over a year clean!

    She gave me so much hope! I asked her; When you decided to get off these pills, did you know anybody before you that did it successfully? She said she didn't. I expressed my appreciation to her for being a pillar of strength for me. She really is a strong person who, against a lot of odds has been able to come out on the recieving end. We both know sub addicts now, and talked about "recovery" and what to do about cravings. For her, she said her "detox" was enough to help her steer clear of temptation. She advised me to write out how I'm really feeling and doing, then back-track once the cravings kick in. I told her about this site and how it's almost like a journal.

    So, just thought I'd share! Tonight was a good night. As for my wd's .. still not sleeping and the fatigue sucks. But man, it's awesome when you get the good, clean feeling .. even if it lasts for an hour or two. Just gotta keep trudging along .. doing my best to stay positive.

    God Bless You All!! Do your absolute best to keep pushing forward, the future is so bright. Pray for me as I pray for you.
  15. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Starting day 11 here. I sweat'd pretty good last night but also was able to get 6 hours of rest, weird. Must be the toxins being released out of my body. I feel refreshed, minor knee ache and my skin feels a little heated. I look forward to today, just one step closer.

    Continue to stay strong all. We CAN do this! God Bless.
  16. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    Ready... your just crusing along here. GREAT attitude. I wish I had that attitude when in detox. Hats off to you..

    You have been added to "my hero" list. Life will get better from here on out. Just dont pick up and the world is really at your feet to do what ever you chose. So much is out there for everyone of us and now... you will notice. AGAIN..CONGRATS
  17. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member


  18. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Hey All,

    Just a little update! Ending day 11 here. Still taking the Clonidine, stopped the Traz .. not because I don't need it, but because it's lost it's effect for some reason. A hot bath, and not getting frustrated when I can't sleep seems to help put me to sleep a lot quicker. I lay in bed and say; "I'm so tired, sleepy, sleep, so, so tired, barely awake" over and over lol and it works.. try it.

    I wanted to mention way earlier, that I keep sneezing .. I counted 45 sneezes in one day .. O.O usually in multiples of 5. Lately it's been reduced to 2 at a time, so hopefully that will be subsiding. It's an ab work-out for sure. Just trudging along over here, taking each day as it comes. It feels good, really good, knowing my body is healing .. that's the best part actually. Physically and mentally, both being repaired. I find, I'm dealing with my problems in a clearer state of mind and with more patience and understanding. The people around me are noticing a change, they said they like it. Life really does get better being off the stuff.

    To all those out there struggling to stay clean or to get clean; Again, it goes back to the ones way of thinking and 'wanting' to be off subs. Our mind is such a powerful thing, it tells our body what to do and when to do it. If you have it stuck in your mind that your detox is going to be horrific, you can bet it will be just that or worse. My advice, get a plan in order! Make it realistic and one that you know you can accomplish, baby steps!

    I'm still in detox and I only give this advice because it's working for me and I've read where others have stated the same thing. You'll learn a lot about yourself going through this, it's actually very beautiful. Just get in that determined mind-frame and you'll be alright. Seek support online and in real life, know that every detox is different because every body is different. When times to get tough and you are feel up against it, just know that it does get better. The sun seems to shine just a little bit brighter, the birds sing a little bit louder, food taste' just a little bit better .. all that good stuff.

    Continue to stay strong in a positive mind-frame above all. You can do this, WE CAN DO THIS! Just one day at a time is all. God Bless You.
  19. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    Don't know if this is true but make so much sense to me... about the sneezing.
    When one get a bad sinus infection it so hard to treat. There is just not enough bld flow to the area. The antibiotic we take for it.. so little actually gets to there.

    This is why I think that we go thru a month of sneezing. Its the last to let go of the opiate. I HATED that swollen area that made me sneeze... I threw my back out with the sneezing when in detox. The only thing I can look positively at it is that it IS letting the opiate go and finally trying to heal itself. Hope this helps.
  20. ReadyForChange

    ReadyForChange Well-Known Member

    Morning all,

    Starting day 13 here. Yesterday was okay, I pushed myself out all day. I traveled out of town and got diarrhea, not fun. There were a few times when I thought to myself; "Just cancel this trip, go lay down .. " or "Tell them you want to head back home" but I forced myself to be a part of the group and go places. It turned out to be a good day over all yesterday.

    This morning I'm feeling a little groggy. Although I played myself out yesterday hoping to exhaust my body, I did not get much sleep. I feel good outside of the knee's aching and the burning, tired eyes. Not sure what I'm gonna do today, but I know I've got to do something. I've been visiting with an ex-meth addict 3 years clean, an ex-alcoholic 25 years clean and an ex-sub user 1 year clean. Surrounding myself around these people really helps.

    I want to sauna today! See if I can sweat out these toxins and make this process a little quicker. I don't think I'll use Clonidine today yet, wait until it's been out of my system 12 hours before I attempt a sauna, and even then I'll take it easy. Just want to sweat it out on my terms and not on my bed at 3 in the morning.

    Continue to stay strong all! Be proud of yourselves, something amazing is taking place each day. God Bless You.

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