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Dealing with the flood of emotions after bup

Discussion in 'Detoxing From Buprenorphine/Subutex/Suboxone' started by Sakt, Feb 18, 2014.

  1. Sakt

    Sakt Active Member

    I am currently 2 weeks bup free. i still have days with zero energy. My gut is still raw and I have severe crying spells through out the day. i had an exercise schedule before quitting and now i cant get myself to even walk on the treadmill. im still yawning off and on. thank god my rls went away. that was by far the worst.

    About 2 months ago, i quit taking effexor because it makes quitting subs harder (for me). i jumped off of roughly 1 to 2 mgs/ day. i need help. I cant take care of my kid, my home, anything. I know my body is trying to heal itself. i dont even shower everyday simply because i dont want to. i dont care.
     
  2. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    Welcome! Your doing awesome! Every day will get better! Take really hot baths, I never wanted/cared about taking them, but they really helped. Try and make your self go for a walk, even if it's very short, it will help... It's very hard the first 3 weeks, but it slowly gets better... I'm a little over 4 months off:).
     
  3. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    The hell with the home...just do your best. Spend what energy you have with that child and on yourself. The rest will come in time. I promise in time you'll look back and be thankful you choose this path. Your child deserves your presents and you deserve a full life. Sub will take that from you and child.
    CONGRATS on time clean. Sub is like no other dope..but you will heal, that's a promise. Just will take a bit of time. Let those tears flow as they choose, let the emotions rear their head. It won't be like this forever no matter what it feels to you now. I beat sub, so will you. Pls do get 3d support. I could not do it alone, not many can.
    Keep it going and claim the reward for all you efforts...promise their coming your way.

    Hang on
     
  4. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    The hell with the home...just do your best. Spend what energy you have with that child and on yourself. The rest will come in time. I promise in time you'll look back and be thankful you choose this path. Your child deserves your presents and you deserve a full life. Sub will take that from you and child.
    CONGRATS on time clean. Sub is like no other dope..but you will heal, that's a promise. Just will take a bit of time. Let those tears flow as they choose, let the emotions rear their head. It won't be like this forever no matter what it feels to you now. I beat sub, so will you. Pls do get 3d support. I could not do it alone, not many can.
    Keep it going and claim the reward for all you efforts...promise their coming your way.

    Hang on
     
  5. Sakt

    Sakt Active Member

    Thanks guys. Been having better moments. Small moments but its better than no moments. Went to NA meetings over the weekend and plan on everyday. I signed in for outpatient rehab too. I just need constant support/help through this. I haven't had to go through getting.clean in thirteen years.Can't even nremember what it was like. Its tougher nowthat's for sure.
     
  6. Sakt

    Sakt Active Member

    I looked in the mirror today and saw the color in my face coming back. I don't look so pale anymore. My stomach is effed up still. I do have ulcerative colitis though. That doesn't help. Still hurts to brush my hair. Still yawning and sneezing but everyday is one less sneeze and one less yawn.
     
  7. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    Way to go Sakt! I'm glad you can see the light:) it feels awesome yet a little overwhelming to have our lives back. I'm glad the emotion calm down with time. The first few weeks it seemed as if every thing was ten times larger than it really was.
    Gotta get the kids off the bus. I'm glad your hanging in:)
     
  8. Sakt

    Sakt Active Member

    thanks fox :)
    woke up pretty good. going to outpatient today.
     
  9. Sakt

    Sakt Active Member

    So its been almost 2 full weeks w/o bup even tho my jump was feb 3rd. i had a few days of feeling okay and last night my legs started feeling restless for a few hours. took benadryl for sleep. Today I feel really anxious yet so weak and tired. Is this normal? Its like I get a feeling of mini w/ds every few days. weird. How long does this last?
    Oh and I am STILL SNEEZING!!! wtf?
     
  10. Bonita

    Bonita Well-Known Member

    Hang in there. Yes it is normal. When I jumped the wd really didn't begin till day 8 post jump and I jumped off at less then .125mgs. Sub is a different animal. I will say the wd never got as intense as ct from other dope I've kicked....on a scale the most intense was a few weeks post jump but never worse then 4 out of 10. That intensity didn't last long at all and drops to a 2out of 10. It's just that I never got less then that. This dosnt mean you will be the same though. Many here say after three month they felt pretty good. I was able to work through the most intense part and think that's what really saved my *** from relapsing sooner. I stayed clean 8 months before I caved.

    I'm now coming up on 5 yrs clean...pretty content with life. I will admit to struggling recently but still clean. I have plans for a ibogaine treatment end of March. For me...it's my best route. Not only does it assist with addiction but it also does Wonders for my MS. I was praying last night asking for protection from relapse...it dawned on me. I wonder if I'm struggling now knowing I have a treatment coming at end of month. Addiction is a sneaky disorder. Knowing that if I use today I get to walk away at end of month w/o paying the price. Now that I've thought about this possibility being true, I don't have that sneaky dope seeking voice in my head telling me I need to use.

    Your doing great...pls don't give up now. Magnesium/Calcium will help with the RLS. Benadryl is known to exacerbate RLS so not best thing to use at this time. It took my body 3weeks to clear via urine screening from sub. I've since learned urine may come up clean but blood test shows sub still in system.
     
  11. Sakt

    Sakt Active Member

    Thanks Bonita. I would really like to know how the Ibogaine works out for you. I have heard mixed reviews. I didn't know benedryl makes things worse...that's all I have been taking. I used up all my xanax for my initial detox. Drugs scare me but damn it I will take them anyway. I am so afraid of slipping up. I have been away from doctors and chasing for so long that I wouldn't know where to begin however, I was clean For 7 years before and all it takes is ONE! I pray everything works out for you. Addiction is wicked. I just pray this was my last run.
     
  12. Sakt

    Sakt Active Member

    Still feel down with no energy. I forget how I did this 14 years ago. Being older doesnt help. Just wish I could bounce back. I cant even remember what its like to have desire or motivation. Just tired of being tired. Bup sucks...I cant wait to hit the 3 week mark.
     
  13. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    Hang in there!! I know it seems like forever when you feel like you do, but I can honestly say it does get better! The more you try to do things to get your mind off it helps too. I tried to read a lot when I had no energy and I would force my self to go outside for a few min.... I didn't have the energy to exercise like most people say to do, but I would walk the 50 steps to the mail box instead of letting my kids get it on their way off the bus. Hope you feel better soon:)
     
  14. Sakt

    Sakt Active Member

    23 days straight. Still have a refill and no desire to fill it. I would like to cancel it...how do I do that??
    I still sweat and sneeze and food goes right through me but My energy is slowly coming back. It seems like I take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. Some moments are better than others. I still need to rest off and on during the day.
    I signed myself out of the sub clinic and my doctor wants me to come by so he can hear my experience. He hasnt tapered anyone off of this drug. I also looked him up and he has some sanctions and looks like he takes sub also....wow!! idk what to think of that.
     
  15. southerngirl

    southerngirl Member

    Holy Cow, Sakt! Your Sub doc is ON sub? How did you look him up and find this out? Did you ever go back and talk to him? I am a few months late reading this - but am curious to know........ what happened?

    I'll look for other posts from you to see if there is a more recent update on how you are doing. Hope things have settled down for you.

    SG
     

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