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7 days no sleep

Discussion in 'Detoxing From Buprenorphine/Subutex/Suboxone' started by coues1, Jun 25, 2014.

  1. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member


    You made my day! Stay positive and kick @$$.
  2. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member

    Another good day. Physical symptoms are still mild and annoying. Kind of like a slightly annoying background noise. The physical symptoms do not take control my days anymore and I am very thankful. Maybe I will sleep well. We will see.

    More importantly I may have come to acceptance about my opiate use. A friend from this forum responded to my question about addiction vs physical dependency. My friends support has helped me heal emotionally and made a point today that made me at peace with my grieving process.

    My friend said "does it really matter if you are addicted or dependant?". No it doesn't. I had a problem with opiates. I took too many for way too long. I took opiates for physical and emotional pain. I took opiates to escape reality and craved the feeling of well being. I took opiates to cope with stress. I started to need opiates to function. I started to need opiates to not be sick. Opiates started to affect my ability to work. I was ignorant to the fact my opiate use affected my family. Opiate use made me stress about doctors appointments. Opiates made me sick, I detoxed then wanted opiates again.

    Does it matter if I am addicted. Only to my pride I guess. Do I crave opiates now, NO. Can I trust myself never to not take more opiates than prescribed if I get injured, NO.

    I always thought more is better and enjoyed the euphoria. I did not use opiates as prescribed for years. This sound like an addiction. My denial and pride brought me to this day. I have missed myself and am enjoying the feelings I have suppressed.

    I want to do this right this time so I have to be honest with myself. I am a F-ing addict. That really hurts to say. BUT I learned a hard lesson and I will never abuse opiates again.

    Your right Fox, it doesn't matter. Those simple words opened my eyes. Who cares if I was addicted. I am not addicted or using now. BUT I have to remember I have an addictive personality.

    I am a stronger/better person for stopping. I will learn from this and carry my hardships with a badge of honor. My kids will learn from my mistakes. I will be a better friend, co worker, father, and husband for being honest with myself. I will not make the same mistakes. So who cares what I was I know what I am now.

    I can't thank everyone enough for your stories. You all helped heal me and doing so saved a life and prevented a vicious cycle of drug use passed on to another generation because my boys know my struggles and will not repeat them.

    Thank you Fox for posing the perfect question and answering my call for help. Bolt, thank you for your posts and your unwavering attitude towards sobriety.
  3. peacenik

    peacenik Administrator

    excellent post coues. Being honest with yourself, that is a huge step and really necessary to escape from addiction. Addictions are built up with what's known as a denial system - lies we tell ourselves to be able to continue what we're doing while blaming the problem on something, or someone else.

    And we've got to completely take down that denial step by step in order to avoid relapse. It's tough, and it sounds as if you are on your way. The upside is you'll come out the other side a better person, you'll know yourself better, you'll have gained confidence, won't be so quick to anger. You'll like yourself a lot more and chances are, so will others :)

    So best of luck, keep up the good work.
  4. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member

    Thank you peacenik. Very true words and I feel I still need to work on my denial but I am closer to total acceptance now.

    This site has been truly helpful and positive. I have much respect for all who are trying to quit and those who have continued to be available here to help others.

    Opiates and drugs do not discriminate. I was surprised about the diversity I found at the in patient detox years ago before sub. We all bonded together regardless of race, sex, financial status or religion. I was humbled and really happy to have experienced that kinship. I have had those same feelings here at this site.

    Thank you
  5. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member

    3 weeks no suboxone. I feel good. I still have mild, inconsistent WD symptoms but very mild. Insomnia is not nearly as bad but still not sleeping great. Mostly just sweat a little, minor abdominal cramps, 3 sneezes in a row instead of 6, and short periods (1 hr vs 12 hrs) of fatigue.

    My emotions have calmed and I am happy but concerned. Concerned because I have to deal with some stuff but happy because I feel like I can.

    I hope everyone is well and getting well.
  6. dumbas

    dumbas Active Member

    Got started innocently with a gall bladder surgery 4 years ago. Took a while but I was eating any oxy whatever I could get. I realized I was hooked. Went to this doc and he put me on 12-16 mg a day of Suboxine. I have been slowly detoxing for months, 1/2 gr at a time. Last Wednesday I tool my last piece. I am not sleeping well, minor convulsion/seizures. I can't take much more and I am not going back on anything. ANy thoughts on how long it will take before I can sleep. Biggest mistake of my life, no question. The pills and the Subs.
  7. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member

    First of all stay positive. You are not what your user name suggests. I felt upset and disappointed no extremely pissed at myself. Keep reading peoples stories and interact like you are. Insomnia was the worst for me. It does get better though. I know me saying this does not help until you experience some sleep. I just had to finally accept the insomnia and go to a recliner and listen to music and read this site.

    I don't know your medical history or how much support you have. Please keep.this in mind when I talk about how I handled my insomnia. I was going crazy when I started this thread.

    Try cutting out all caffeine and other stimulants. Chlonodine is a blood pressure med that will help with restlessness and may help you get some sleep. Malentonin is a natural med that may help. My doc said only take 2 mg a few hrs before bed. I work 24 shifts so I had go get some sleep so my
    doc gave me 2 weeks worth of temazepam. It is for insomnia but I gave the script to my wife and have used it 4 times in 3 weeks. It let me sleep.for 5 hrs at least but not great sleep. You have to be very careful with benzos and I don't recommend any abuse of them or any other types. It is specifically for insomnia. Other benzos will not work. This was a last resort and I know my limits. I can handle that med. I would recommend trying to be active during the day first. You have to force yourself to exercise. Walk. I would talk myself into getting up for hours. The first mile sucked but then I felt great after 10 min. Try going for 30 min. Eat healthy and drink lots of water. Drink a few 8oz V8 throughout the day. Has good sodium and potassium to hydrate. Take a multivitamin.

    Mostly it is a mental game. Don't go backwards and take opiates to sleep. It will just prolong the process. Keep up a fighting attitude and stay with it. 2 weeks was my turning point and others as well. You won't regret sticking with it. It is worth it and you are worth it.
  8. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member

    Still having inconsistent mild wd symptoms but more annoying than anything. A few more days will be a month with no sub or opiates. The symptoms are just some restlessness when I wake up, very short periods of fatigue (30 min in 24 hrs), sneeze a little, short lasting mild abdominal cramps.

    Is this PAWS?

    the emotions are not euphoric. They are more real for lack of a better term. I will say I am much happier and proud I am not a slave to opiates anymore. Not all my emotions are happy but I feel like a weight has been lifted off my back. I feel free so it makes the negative, sad feelings I have once in a while very bearable. I almost just get myself out of a sad/concerned time just by feeling this freedom. In the past, sub or an opiate would make me happy. Not now. Just the opposite actually.

    I hope everyone is well and continuing to get well.
  9. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member

    In a funk today. Had a restless night and am fatigued. Could be just plain old tired from being busy and hard work or WD. Probably both. Bad sleep really is a indicator for how well I do the next day. Feels like week 2 fatigue today. Not too bad. Going to take my own advise and force myself to get up, listen to music and do something productive.

    Just part of the process. I have learned here at this site to expect these types of days after feeling well. It would be depressing and concerning if I did not know others had experienced short episodes like this.

    I hope all is well.
  10. dumbas

    dumbas Active Member

    Been hitting the treadmill the last four days. 10 minutes, then 15, then 30 today. It does make you fell better. Not sleeping still. Takes allot to get on that treadmill but a new ramones CD passed the time real fast!! Wednesday will be two weeks.
  11. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    You guys are doing great!
  12. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member

    Two weeks is great. How are feeling?. You sound much better. The sleep part sucks but you are free from opiates so who gives a $hit about sleep. Well, I do actually but it feels good to be free.

    Keep it up, stay focused, be positive and get ready for the emotions. I luckily avoided getting beat up :) keep us updated
  13. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member

    1 month no sub no opiates! I could not have done this without all your comments and support. I really appreciate it and plan on paying it forward. I even made a friend here and that has been extremely helpful.

    First the positive:

    30 days: Still feel.good and proud about being free. My emotions are more stable, I laugh more, I am more patient and caring. I also engage in conversation more and really listen instead of just kind of hearing someone talk. These traits are things that I anx my famkly really have noticed most. I used to wish I could make my wife laugh more. Today I had her and my boys laughing. Also, my sister in law told my wife how much fun she had on 4th of July at our house. I was not a jerk or mean in the past. I just withdrew from people more than usual and would go read instead of having a lengthy conversation. I really did not know sub was causing me to be antisocial. My eyes (windows to the soul) are more clear, blue and friendly looming. Weird but true.

    Now the challenges:

    I had suppressed some issues/feelings I need to deal with at home. I have to work on these now but my attitude is in the right place to truly address these. May end well but may not? What will be will be but I am optimistic.

    Still have in in consistent WD's but very manageable. I actually had some week 2 symptoms for a day but was able to get out of the funk. Sleep is still a challenge and some nights are rough and some are OK. I am looking forward to good sleep again. This has been the toughest WD. I do have times of sadness/concern but snap out fairly quickly.

    Knowing what to expect from reading posts has really helped.

    I hope everyone is doing well and continuing to get well.
  14. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member

    Sorry for the misspelled words. My phone has a mind of its own.
  15. dumbas

    dumbas Active Member

    Thanks for your posts! Coming up one week three. Still no sleep. But I'm on the treadmill the last five days, at least 2 miles. Somedays it helps great, somedays I'm just so tired from no sleep. I am very emotional also as a result. Not going back. Have a friend who went back after three weeks. You give me allot of positive hope and I thank you for that. Keep me posted. I was having a tough day today.
  16. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member

    Sorry you are having a tough day. You will draw strength from remembering how far you have come in 3 weeks. Realize you are free and you will find energy, enthusiasm and a stronger desire to stay off opiates.

    Great job. Be mentally prepared for inconsistent WD symptoms. Hell, I was sneezing all xay yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks. They get more and more
    manageable. Be proud of yourself. You are strong and you are beating a hard opiate to get off

    I was worried about your name and the negative that it represents. It sounds like you are doing great and staying positive. I believe mindset is a huge factor.

    I am proud of you. Keep going.
  17. dumbas

    dumbas Active Member

    Thank you. Yeah my name suggest this predicament I've gotten myself into ay my age (61). I am very hard on myself. Today and yesterday were great days. No nausea. I got some sleep, I had to take Thermazapen (restoril) last night. Got me five good hours but I do NOT want to start that. I guess the sleep will return eventually. I have until Sept 1st to go back to work. I think I should be fine by then. Any thoughts on that? Thanks again. Thursday is 3 weeks. I had some subs in the house but I had them removed yesterday. Can't have that reservation. I have a couple of guys on it I know that don't have insurance, so I gave them to them.
  18. I have followed both of your threads.. I have been on sub 65 days and have been tapering the last 2 weeks . Well tapering the whole time MD started me @24 in 5 day detox then 12mg then I went to 6 then 5 then 4mg now 3 for the past week.. My plan is to be off by my birthday Sept 13th. I will have been on 4 months total.. Unfortunately that sounds like a long time to me . I am getting great info from both of you . I am 57 so detox gets harder with age ..That is a fact .. But I am exercising, eating healthy and going to support group meetings.. I have lost 35+ lbs since jumping from a high dose of methadone..So far I am able to work hard on my recovery on the sub but I know that won't last ..So thank you both..you truly are an inspiration!
  19. coues1

    coues1 Well-Known Member

    Both dumbas and Liveonlifesterms, great job. I am so happy I have had a small part with both your
    recoveries. Today is 5 weeks since I completely stopped sub. I have good nights (5hrs straight) of sleep and restless nights. I am not sure when sleep will feel normal again but it does seem to get better day by day with an occasional set back. The good news is I have learned to deal with the restless nights. Instead of fight it I just start listening to music or read. I had a restless night so J am up listening to music right now and reading posts. I still get support from this sight. That has helped tremendously. I have not exercised much in last 2 weeks. I have been getting projects done
    so that is good but exercise will help my sleep.

    All the pain, anger, frustration, sadness and WD symptoms have been worth the reward at the end. My reward yesterday was having a true, can't stop myself, genuine laugh with my coworkers yesterday. The kind of laugh were you start tearing up. I have not had that feeling for a long time. Those moments give me the desire to never return to opiate use.

    Keep up the good work. Stay strong and stay mentally prepared for the long haul.

    You deserve a good, genuine laugh.
  20. dumbas

    dumbas Active Member

    My man coues1 and all you guys that helped me. It's like I'm writing it. Cous is right on with everything. Tomorrow with be three weeks. Had to take a thermazem(?) last night. so I am rested but I am very concerned about the use of these as well. I've had enough. I don't want to replace one thing for another. I'll just stay up. Hopefully by Sept 1, it will be manageable. Having V-8's, doing the treadmill and just rolling along. No energy for much yet. I live at the shore and can't even bring myself to truck down to the beach. Not one of my better summers!! Anyway, keep us posted. I'm following your path. And thank you and I have to say thank God for delivering me...once again.

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