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12 years and I'm tapering off - Journal (JUMPED!)

Discussion in 'Detoxing From Buprenorphine/Subutex/Suboxone' started by eyedotz, Jul 20, 2015.

  1. subzero

    subzero Member

    Sorry to getting back to you so late, Eyedotz. My gut issues were definitely pronounced after getting off Subs. Time is the best healer it seems. We tend to be impatient, especially us drug users. Learning how to be patient, I've realized, is half the battle on all fronts. Great to hear you're hanging in there. I can't believe it's been 7 months now for me. Feels like longer, actually.....lol

    Sub-b-gone. I seriously don't think it'll be that much different if you jump at .25mg or less. At that point it's more about just making the decision to jump and sticking with it. I didn't have the patience to taper beyond .5mg and I was surprised how easy it was compared to how I thought it would be. And I wouldn't be hard on yourself if you think you need to hang out at .25mg for a while. Take your time if you need it.
  2. eyedotz

    eyedotz Active Member

    90 Days dudes!

    I had to update right? I think I'm feeling about 95%. I've been trying to run every night to get in shape so it's really helping. I've never really been a runner before so it's a learning experience. I still have silent reflex issues but symptoms ebb and flow... some days are good...some are worse but I'm hoping with more time....I'll get there. I still have slight burning in my legs/feet so I guess I'll see if that goes away or stays. That is pretty much it on the physical.

    Mentally I feel clearer and lighter? Weird description I know. I am just fucking happy, I guess. I laugh more and I'm always joking around. If I'm actually funny, who knows....but I feel funny. :) The 'blahs' are getting further apart and fewer....

    I've been hanging out on subsux for while helping the newbs with taper plans...It's the way I handle my recovery. The one thing I want to get a crossed to people is NOT to be afraid. I actually feel I pulled this off beautifully after 13 years!

    Peace guys! I'll check in at some other milestone!
    subzero likes this.
  3. AumuA

    AumuA Well-Known Member

    Just want to say congrats on 90 days! I see you over there. i don't really post there, though. We need you over here tbh, just sayin. :)
    Fox face likes this.
  4. eyedotz

    eyedotz Active Member

    Haha thanks! I keep an eye here to but no newbies seem to post here... I'm not going anywhere. :D
    Fox face likes this.
  5. Qweets

    Qweets New Member

    Hey eyedotz you've really inspired me, I don't know if you still come here or not but I jumped maybe 3 weeks ago? I didn't think to keep track, I jumped from 1mg though I didn't do a super long taper but I've actually felt pretty good.

    The insomnia though is super horrific, I'll feel super tired but toss and turn, not only that but my emotions are all over the place, I already suffer from really bad anxiety disorders and I Take clonazepam for it but my docs are trying to taper me off my anxiety medication for some reason and it's not helping this situation.

    I too find that I'm enjoying music so much more and I motivated myself to start exercising again and eating right (which is expensive and hard for me to do since I'm on disability) I started a rigorous walking routine 2 days ago and my entire lower body is sooo sore that I don't think I'll be able to walk properly for at least 24 hours or so. Suboxone turned me into a couch potato I didn't care about the things I loved like gaming just like you. I'm still finding it hard being super bored and have no motivation to boot up a game and enjoy myself. Sitting on my pc listening to music though is great or when I'm walking I'll use my Bluetooth earbuds and it helps.

    I had one awful night where I was so tired of being tired and wanted to sleep I ended up drinking a 6 pack of an ipa beer and after that I still didn't feel it was enough so I got into me and the fiancées bar and took some shots and blacked out but I apparently went and woke her up because I was having suicidal ideation and just crying uncontrollably. I find I cry super easily at the tiniest things, it can be a song or an episode of a favorite series (when walking dead comes back I know I'm gonna be bawling when they show who neegan killed lol)

    Overall its manageable so far but it definitely seems PAWS is getting me a bit. The exercise made me feel good I need to lose 25lbs and I'll be happy. But I can barely move and have a huge blister on my foot from the past two days. First day was 4 miles at around 3.1mph second day I was sore so I set a 2 mile goal and still maintained 3.1mph (Samsung Health app is a godsend).

    If there are any tips you can give me on anything I've said please do, I hope you are still around. Thank you for this thread it's very inspiring and I read every single post from everyone so thanks everyone else as well who chipped in support and good information.

    Take care everyone - Casey Jones
  6. Qweets

    Qweets New Member

    Oops I should have replied to your actual last post maybe it'll notify you someone posted to you lol read my post if this does get to you. Thanks so much.
  7. getoffsubs

    getoffsubs Well-Known Member

    Eyedotz, I'm so proud of you!

    I feel bad I wasn't an active participant in this thread but I read your post on my thread and it made my day! I hope you're doing well and thank you for making me smile today and for reminding me to reflect on my own journey!
    Fox face and eyedotz like this.
  8. eyedotz

    eyedotz Active Member

    WOW! It has been a while since I've been here. On December 18, I will be at 9 months 100% clean and sober from opioids. Physically I think I'm at 99%. I have had peripheral neuropathy (burning in legs and feet) but has gotten significantly better with time. I can fall asleep at night without taking motrin to calm symptoms. My stomach issue has also improved leaps and bounds (a paws symptom I developed was silent reflux) and is only hanging on by 10%. I stopped eating tums like skittles!

    The emotional adjustment, however, has been more difficult. I have been trying to overcome 25 years of opiate based robotic automation. I am finally starting to level out in this regard. It is a very strange thing to go from numb to 'intensely self-reflective'. I find myself questioning everything about myself. Yes, it has been a journey. Intense sadness to intense joy. I am getting through....

    I hope everyone in ODR is doing well! Sorry I don't stop by enough.... Thanks for reading!
    Fox face and freakedout like this.
  9. RS8877

    RS8877 Member

    Although this is from 2016 -- i just read this entire post -- awesome
    Its nice to see daily / weekly/monthly progress BOTH During the Taper AND whaty life is like After the Jump!

    Congrats to all -- very nice thread!

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