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12 years and I'm tapering off - Journal (JUMPED!)

Discussion in 'Detoxing From Buprenorphine/Subutex/Suboxone' started by eyedotz, Jul 20, 2015.

  1. Sub-b-gone

    Sub-b-gone Member

    Btw, I wanted to share something that I find helps me when tapering. Maybe this will help someone reading this who is new to tapering or struggling with it. When I lower my dose I don't just lower and stay there, I take the new lower dose for one day then go back to my previous dose for one day, then back to the lower dose and stay. So to illustrate it, if I am at 1 mg and lowering to 0.8 mg this would be my dosing schedule:

    Day 1: 1 mg
    Day 2: 0.8 mg
    Day 3: 1 mg
    Day 4: 0.8 mg
    Day 5: 0.8 mg

    And so on... There was even one rough drop in dosage where I took the 1 mg dose on day 6 as well (following the illustration above). But after that you must stay at the lower dose or you are backtracking. This seems to make it a smoother transition for me. I got the idea from seeing taper schedules that had you skip days the last week of dosing. Simple but helps me.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2016
  2. eyedotz

    eyedotz Active Member

    So I jumped.

    Maintenance for 12 years then tapered for 9 months - 4-6mg.
    tapered 10% drops every 10 - 14 days to .03mg for 4-5 days
    Jumped: now at 66 hours.

    Saturday night at 9pm was my last .03 mg. My 'goal' was to break that damned 32 hour mark I kept hitting and make it to 48. I did it.
    I felt actually pretty decent and decided for 72 hours. I am now at about 66 hours and still feeling just fine considering. I can't imagine going back on to taper lower... to what .01mg? I believe I'm good.

    I think what helped me the most was that the past 2 weeks after going under .06 mg the irritating burning sensation never really went away....it was always kind of there like an old deadbeat roommate. I just got used to the crappy shitty feeling all the time and somehow it removed the anxiety/fear (for the most part) from it.

    I've been able to sleep around 5-6 hours a night so far which in itself is a freaking miracle.

    I have taken melatonin and ibuprofen. That is it. I sleep with special headphones on and listen to sleep music or tropical thunderstorms and when I wake up doing the jiggle...It lulls me back to sleep. It's restless sleep but it's something. I know that not sleeping can make people crazy and I am one of them. I'm used to sleeping 4-6 hours a night from taper...it feels great to do this WITHOUT subs. I still can't believe this long-ass 9 months has concluded.

    I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. How is it possible to feel 'better' then while I was tapering? I haven't had any rolling body chills today...just yesterday. I feel fatigued but no worse than low taper felt. I know I have the infamous 4-7 day and the 9-12 day to look forward to but damn...so far so good. I am not at all confused about the mental changes I'll be going through. I have to pay for the 25 years as an opiate addict. I will never forget this because I am now deathly allergic. So far, NO cravings at all. My life is so far removed from the lifestyle....feels solid.

    I hope this can be a success story for other people... I have a long road to go and I'm just warming up....but here I am.

    I'll keep everyone posted. Thanks to all the people here that followed me throughout the months. Now it's my turn to pay it forward.
     
  3. Sub-b-gone

    Sub-b-gone Member

    Congrats on the jump!! I'm glad for you. I know you will be good, especially after the long taper, you've got the best days ahead. Stay strong and keep us updated.
     
    eyedotz likes this.
  4. spring

    spring Administrator

    You just may be able to skate right through this without any trouble considering that you were at such a low dose. It will be interesting to read your updates.
     
  5. freakedout

    freakedout Moderator

    Congrats!!! If your experiencing tapering is anything like mine, you will be fine. The physical stuff is pretty non-existent at this point -- your biggest enemy is anything mental or emotional.

    IMO, you did it the right way going down to .03 and letting the half life unwind. Wooooohoooooo!
     
  6. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    Awesome News!
     
  7. eyedotz

    eyedotz Active Member

    Thank you for all your kind words guys. It's nice to know most of you have stuck around through this whole ordeal!

    Update time. Yesterday was a tad rocky in the am but I worked my way through it with headphones. I had a strange sensitivity to stress and it made me a bit teary. Today is better although I woke up twisting about 40 times last night...totally acceptable and anticipated. I still got 6 hours of sleep. Other than feeling tired and weak....pretty good considering it's been 110 hours! Yay!

    It makes me sad it didn't taper like this years ago. Don't get me wrong...I am not a suboxone basher but it can be a crutch of sorts...I want to hate it but only I can blame myself for my own choices. It can help many people but I feel like the tapering plans offered by most docs are incorrect. I didn't taper earlier based on fear of the unknown and jumping at a high dose scared the crap out of me. Trust me when I tell you guys that if I can do it after 20 years of non-stop opiates daily than you can too. It just has to been done methodically. I just want to teach other people this....I hope that I can help even one person get over the fear and want to move forward.

    I have not had 1 craving. I have not really had bathroom issues other than early morning after coffee but that could be a 39 year old body. Burning sensations are still kind of there but like I said I'm used to them and I'm sure they'll dissipate. If that's the only physical stuff then I'm doing pretty well. I went to gym for an hour today and pushed through the fatigue. The only comfort med I need is time.

    Still waiting for the other shoe to drop. To be perfectly honest...I feel possibly better than I did when I was tapering all those months. I know I'm still yet to experience the neurological changes/adjustments from being a long time opiate addict. The slow 'tolerance' adjustments made were key for properly weaning off...at least for the physical discomfort aspect. I've felt worse with a head cold then I do right now. Head cold is about 50% worse.

    PS. I got rid of left-over meds yesterday. I did not feel one ounce of sadness which I didn't expect. Talk to you guys later!
     
    Sub-b-gone, Fox face and freakedout like this.
  8. Sub-b-gone

    Sub-b-gone Member

    Hey, how is it going now that it's been over a week? I agree with you on the docs tapering plans being incorrect to. Maybe they will listen to those who have been through this and realize their plans are way to fast. Hope all is well.
     
  9. eyedotz

    eyedotz Active Member

    I'm actually doing much better than expected. No anxiety, no depression, sleeping 6 to 7 hours a night. My only symptom at this point is I seemed to be chilled a couple times a day and need a blanket. Energy is still pretty low but if that's all I have to complain about I'm sure I'll be fine. I still have a slight burning on my skin but it's very minimal and not an issue.

    Today is day eight. It's crazy that this is been the first time in 20 years that I've had a week clean of everything. No comfort meds besides ibuprofen.

    After this experience it drives me a little crazy hearing peoples horrid Jump stories. I realize there's some situations or people must taper very quickly or jump off cold turkey but a lot of cases people just get impatient. Even when I envisioned my jump I had no idea how easy it actually was if done correctly.

    So soon I'll be on to the 9–12 infamous days where the sub leaves your (kappa?) receptors. I really think that I'll be fine seeing the acute phase was basically nothing.

    I'll check back with guys in a couple days….Thanks for checking up on me.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2016
    spring, freakedout and Sub-b-gone like this.
  10. 3rdxstheCharm

    3rdxstheCharm Well-Known Member

    Well, if you consider the symptoms you had while tapering as actual withdrawal (as I do,) your experience isn't THAT dissimilar.

    Tapering is a tough thing for some of us, I'm terrible at it. I jumped Feb 2nd from 2mg after 7 years of maintenance and I've only had two good days so far. It's different for everyone. I'll update my old thread in a bit for those who may remember me, but I'd encourage you to not to dismiss or decry others experiences merely because yours wasn't as bad... just be grateful.

    That said, congratulations on the taper and clean time! I don't care how anyone does it, as long as they are successful. Keep kicking butt!
     
  11. eyedotz

    eyedotz Active Member

    I totally didn't mean to step on anyone's toes! I apologize if I spoke a bit harshly and I should've worded more tactfully.... Yes, some people struggle with tapering....probably the same thing I would've said about cold turkey! Most of my comments are for people that have done microgram tapers as it's the only experience I've had. No disrespect guys, sorry. Anyone that can go CT have some serious cojones, trust me.

    It's a really stark difference between what I'm feeling now and 'thought' I would be feeling. I had my moments when tapering....usually around day 5-7 when sleep wasn't that great and anxiety reared it's ugly head but it was more irritating then anything. I could function normally (besides being tired). Honestly, I thought the same thing would happen at the end. I just started this journey so I shouldn't assume all is clear. I think I'm on day 10.... feeling same.

    3rdx: I really hope the better days start adding up for you. I'd read your thread when updated.....Thank you for knocking me down a notch. Really.... I don't want to be that person and I want to learn from my mistakes/judgements. :)

    ~dotz
     
  12. spring

    spring Administrator

    My opinion about you getting rid of your leftover meds is that it's a great BIG leap towards your total freedom. And the fact that you didn't feel any grief over it says that not only are you done with it physically, but you're also done with it mentally.
    In the past, I would hold onto some of it 'just in case'...just in case of "what"? I didn't realize at the time, that it was my addict way of leaving me a way open to use it again. How could I say that I was done for good but at the same time keep something on hand 'just in case'?
    For many people, the act of the disposing of their meds is a sort of symbolic way of telling themselves that they're done with the stuff. I did it several times in the past, but almost always felt like I was flushing my best friend. The grieving process they talk about when giving up the drug was a real thing for me...until that last time when I got rid of all paraphenalia (sp), etc. I didn't feel like I was losing anything. Instead I felt a great relief that it was behind me. I guess that's when you know that you are truly sick and tired of it all and finally stand a chance.

    You are doing SO SO SO GOOD! It can only keep getting better from here!

    Hey 3rdtime, good to see you back. Hope you'll be updating your thread!
     
  13. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    Congrats on your success Dotz!! I was one of those who couldn't taper my doc and like you said, I got impatient with already feeling bad when I tapered the Subs, so I jumped and had nasty withdrawals. The key to getting off meds and staying off is learning to accept your new self, the good, bad and everything in between. You may have to roll with it a few months, but things do improve! It takes a lot of time to for your mind and body to adjust.

    This made a lot of sense to me and the way I was feeling.

    Check this out 3rdtime and congrats to you!!

    http://www.heroin-detox.com/index.php?threads/a-good-article-on-paws-aka-flare-ups.15770/
     
  14. eyedotz

    eyedotz Active Member

    Soooo.... I don't think I've mentioned this but I will only because I 'believe' it is sub related. Ok, so if anyone's kept up on my thread you'll know I had this weird thing with not sneezing for all the time on subs (at least until taper got low). I seem to be sneezing normally although not in marathon bouts as some have reported. Anyway...

    So about 5 weeks or so I developed this minor wheezing/tight chest/dry cough thing. I went to the dr. for a check up because it felt maybe I developed an allergy or something. I have never had any in the past and I do not smoke. She gave me an albuterol inhaler which I tried 3 times... it only made wheezing/coughing worse so I stopped and just lived with it. Fast forward to today... I had a follow-up appt. I slept like crap last night....maybe maybe 2 hours total because of the damn coughing. First time since my jump I had crappy ass sleep. During the hours of not being able to sleep I decided to do some research of why this is happening.

    I found a bunch of posts from people that had quit opiates only to come down with a dry wheezing cough. After reading what I could find is SEEMS that maybe this is my issue. I have been on immune-suppressants for a very long time as we all know sub is known for 'assisting' the immune system with fighting viruses/colds. So now my body has to deal with itself.... I really think I may have hit the nail on the head... my doctor kind of agreed with me (surprisingly)...and suggested that I take Zyrtec and see if it helps with symptoms.

    Has anyone ever heard of this? ...and what do you guys think about taking Zyrtec? If I'm covering up symptoms does that mean my body isn't adjusting/healing? Would I just be prolonging it? I really have no idea. I just thought I'd put this out there for any 'future' peeps having the same issues.

    Thanks a l0t for all the comments guys! Day 11 and still doing mint besides damn cough thing. Not missing subs one f'n bit. Small miracles!

    Keep on Rocking!
     
  15. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    I'm not a dr but with allergy season in Full swing where I live they do say Zyrtec helps. I had bronchitis shortly after stopping Subs and just went to a walkin clinic. Big mistake because they prescribed cough syrup with codeine. My phamscist ask if I realized what was in it, I did not know and I had also told the dr I was in recovery from opiates.. Needless to say, I made a pit stop on my way back by their office!! First test passed, thank goodness! I just wanted to share. We are responsible for our recovery!
     
  16. eyedotz

    eyedotz Active Member

    Yeah, I tried Zyrtec the past couple days. It did not help with the symptoms but made me extremely tired (like I need that right?). My Dr told me not to get the non-drowsy kind so I did what she said. Oh well, I tried the Zyrtec route. Coughing seems better today so I'll take it.

    Fox: I think cough syrup with codeine got me started down this long-ass road so props to you for being diligent about knowing what your putting in your body. That would have been a very slippery slope! I'm going to order a bracelet or necklace thing for medical alerts. One of my biggest fears is to get in a car accident and not be able to defend what they give me. I can never touch opiates again in any circumstance.

    DAY 14 BUDDIES!

    Feel pretty damn fine. I wish I could say I've noticed 'bad' changes but I can't. Slept like a baby last night for almost 8 hours. I've been pushing myself to get to the gym in the mornings even if it's only an hour. Still taking (1) 5 hour energy in the morning and I'll continue to do so until I don't feel I need it. I'm still tired most of the time but I'm hoping time/gym/spring will help snap me out of it. I had rubbery legs for like 2 days but seems to have subsided.

    I keep 'almost' checking to see if I have any cravings....I imagine a little orange pill and it doesn't sound one bit tempting...I just think ewwww. Good sign?

    I'm still trucking guys.... I'll check back in a couple days!
    ~Dotz
     
    Sub-b-gone likes this.
  17. spring

    spring Administrator

    Oooh YES! I see yet another success story in the making!!
     
  18. Sub-b-gone

    Sub-b-gone Member

    Glad you are going strong! This truly gives me encouragement for my upcoming jump (dropped to 0.25 mg 6 days ago). I wanted to mention that I have been coughing the last couple weeks as well. Wasn't sure if it was the taper or allergies but thinking now it is the body adjusting to coming off subs. Mine isn't terribly bad at this point so hopefully that won't change. I don't smoke either but hacking occasionally like I do. I will throw this out there for anyone interested. I have read about an amino acid called l-glutamine that helps with your immune system and lungs. Here is a quote from another site:

    Glutamine is a non-essential amino acid that is abundant in the human body and the most abundant amino acid in skeletal muscle. Though non-essential (your body can make it), glutamine can become essential during times of illness, stress, or injury, meaning you may need supplemental glutamine as needs can exceed those your body can make.

    Glutamine is primarily stored in the muscle and secondly, the lungs. Like all amino acids, glutamine plays a role in protein synthesis. In addition, glutamine helps remove the common waste product ammonia from the body, supports immune system functioning and plays a role in brain functioning and digestion.

    I haven't tried it yet but have some on the way. I will post back after trying it for a week or so and let you know if it helps for me. If it doesn't help no big deal, it was less that $5 for 50 grams. People report in reviews that they don't get colds anymore when taking it but I will believe that when I see it. I am glad to hear you are doing so well, only hope my experience is similar in this respect. Stay strong.
     
  19. eyedotz

    eyedotz Active Member

    Well I figure it's about time for an update!

    Sub: I noticed once I got to around .25 I had to split dose again. If your doing fine on once a day then stick with it but I found that it wore off really quickly and if I took half an hour before bed I was able to sleep. .25 had it's moments of feeling strong for me....weird. I'm not sure how low your planning on going but it seemed if you can get to .06mg it'll be ok. Once you make it 48 hours you've got it made!

    Day 16 dudes! I feel pretty much the same in most regards.

    I did get some terrible news I'm dealing with at the moment. I have this ex-girlfriend I've been in touch with for around 18 years...we'd email every couple of years and catch up. I decided to reach out to her and say hey and instead discovered her obituary. It completely shocked me and I'm incredibly sad over it. Thing is, I'm not used to being sad...things just used to roll off (or bounce off) and it seems I've been crying for 2 days straight. This is new. Most people might consider it a trigger for cravings but it didn't feel like one. Just feels really awful... She died of an H overdose at 34 years old. She was an unbelievable person and she got twirled up in the horrible addiction wind tunnel that some of us aren't lucky enough to climb out of. I never used to consider myself lucky....I never used to consider life 'precious'....I don't know if it's age or whatever but this dying shit is not cool. It's been hard to sleep because I can't turn my mind off at night....just think about her and the sadness that I never got to say goodbye. Please let your peeps that you love them....

    Anyway, that's enough rambling. I just had to vent a little bit. I'm sure I'll be fine....
     
  20. Fox face

    Fox face Moderator

    Glad to our still doing well!! I'm sorry about your ex. All of your emotions are super sensitive right now. Addiction Sucks!!
     

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