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Hope, Faith & Desperation

Discussion in 'Detoxing From Buprenorphine/Subutex/Suboxone' started by ChasingFreedom, Nov 12, 2011.

  1. OK - better the devil you know??
    After finally 2 weeks off Sub (and anything!) : a clearer mind : Nice!
    A year ago I was spiraling out of control 'chasing the bag' ( like we do.)
    'Seconds and inches' from jail, spinning the plates in the air, trying to fight off withdrawls, never getting enough drug to get where I wanted to be. The bottom, second time around. I was desperate to stop, to try anything to get ahold of my life. Suboxone was the only 'rational' thing I chose. So I wont criticise it. Lets just say- it helped to prevent the hard W/D's the cold turkey would have been.
    Its like being offered sleeping gas, versus electrocution:)
    Stopping Sub though was not easy. One year on, it became a more of a mental battle than physical. Even though when you're on it your not 'high', your MU receptors ( opiate receptors) are! It F***s with your mind, and since the half life
    of it is so long, getting off it is much more mentally challanging than any opiate
    I've kicked.
    Take your time, 4 weeks for me to go from 8/2mg film down to off, last dose I had cut the filmstrip into 32 pieces= 1 piece about dose equilivent to 20mg morphine / day, every day, every other day, to off.
    Why is it so hard to stop Sub? Really easy: we are weak people, I am an addict. I dont want to hurt, I avoid pain (physical or emotional) at all costs. Work a strong program - its all about getting free of the things that keep us chained ( to an addiction, to fear, to anything that keeps us from being at peace with.....fill in the blank.
    And because I'm so weak, having ME solely in control of anything recently hasnt worked so well (Right?!). So: quitting Sub. Get help. Let a trusted friend 'dole out' your Sub( at least when your under a 1/4 film strip) Its too easy to backslide. Do all the other things that so many awesome people here have suggested. Take your time. And, once you've become desperate, I wish you Faith, and Hope.
    Good luck all!
     

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