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... please also (read the) reply(/ies) with other poems - mine is a little bit too "structured"
well - it wasn't but it became - :) - i'm sure there are some "real" poets out there ...
(sorry for all the (,),/,+,-,.," and *(censored myself) **** + the truisms(we all know - so i know))
heroin - a vicious circle of love and hate
i fell in love with heroin (again?)
it took away all my pain
i felt pretty good
it altered my sad mood
i never was more satisfied
it took over my body and mind
i finally found joy throughout
it all seemed senseless without
i always knew it's an illlusion
it will break my constitution
i even cheated on my wife
it can ruin your whole life
i just don't cared about the true
it will always hide it from you
i really have to quit
it wants me to stay with it
and you hate it to feel so weak
but your cravings reach a peak
and sooner or later you lose control
but it lets you play just another role
and you only occasionally become clear
but while on it you do not fear
and you continue with the biggest lie
but as a final consequence you'll die
and it lets you believe don't even try
but if you leave me i'll make you cry
and you'll cry like a baby
but there is hope for you maybe
and it will release you from addiction
but hard to stay clean with your sensation
and you still can overcome any fake love
but don't relapse or you'll be back above (your decision!)
written during detox and posted later - the story behind it
(it's day 21 of another (different?) rehab(detox is over ... depression is here) at home)
all i can do is talk and walk (away) etc. - boredom - let me post my poem
(people(now?), music(joy?), movies(fun?) ... - rarely)
and to try to bring another day behind me (sensless)
i'm not alone at all but it feels like - you know what i mean?
there are a lot of people and things around me and trying to help me -
i just don't want them to help me and bother too much
or even infect anyone else with this disease - drugsoul
everlasting drug talk (especially during consumption) sucks anyway - i'm tired of it
i try to go back to the real world - boring - but i do and it slowly helps
i don't take any chemical medication (since i started to detox)
nature has the ability to heal this disease completly
very slow but otherwise the cure will last longer and finish later
asap away from this (h)ell/opefully
i'm a 36 year old dopesick(ds) guy
i had a little bit a difficult child(/boy)hood
(alcohol/violence/fear/escape ... seen/learned)
i guess many of us had(/have) it
in such a confusing world ...
(and if not - doesn't matter - the drug(/h)
itself will become a problem - sooner or later)
- anyway - ... - though -
life was ok (a long time ago)
i felt rather happy - but -
one day came - where -
i felt a little bit "depressed" - and -
i looked for a(n external) cure (the begining! ...)
(i tried nearly all drugs/meds to "heal" myself)
no success - it all became even worse
as it always will if you consider to and
do play with your brain chemistry (again)
i made this little poem during my detox ct
(2g h+c i.v. and 1-2 benzos o./day ... +++)
at day 10 where i almost became insane
(i tried to quit a 100+ times)
after an addiction(slavery) for (~21) years
(~3 months(2008) totally clean and
~7 years(1996-2003) away from h(ell))
i want to share it with you
so even if it holds only one away
from this nightmare - it's worth it
no illusion here at all ...
i can't prevent nearly anyone
and certainly almost any newbie
(they won't be(/read) here(/this) - and if -
they don't believe(/care about) the true - but -
they believe to be so different - matter of time)
from making their own experiences
and learning their own lessons
(in this case we're nearly all the same)
unfortunately we just begin to think
about it when we're stuck completely (... the end?)
there's always a way out but you've to get
as much help as necessary(/possible(loss of alternatives/self-esteem/hope)? - just my 2 cents)
to conquer your life back for yourself (almost)
but don't do it alone (you('ll) go round in a circle and give up - sol)
it's not about shame/pride, weak/strong - and will
(shame on me that my strong conviction
which brought me further and returned my pride
suddenly goes away and makes me feel weak) - will fades
to start a sober life your will is desperately needed
even more to keep you on the right track afterwards
but don't focus your will on only to become sober (/stay clean)
put in order your life - honestly/slowly - don't hesitate/overact
use your will with sanity - else it will collapse
it's about evil/good, hate/love - and luck
(i hate this evil life, good reasons to look for love)
get (who/what/when)ever it needs(/takes) - good luck
if you've luck and you
don't lost everything that once was important for you
and you don't hurt too much people even yourself
so you don't ruined/destroyed your whole life - yet
then there is a chance - go fix it
if you're devastated
don't waste your will( and )power at an impossible task
accept your addiction for a while - keep it as cheap as possible
try to put in order your life first - don't further destroy it
take action - luck will come back - slowly
someday ... - you'll have enough ...
to fight this battle - ... successfully
never surrender - please stand up
btw ******* society(non addicts) don't knows (/gives) a **** about ******* addiction
(it had to be - sorry)
but how could they even imagine with their lack of own experiences - so they're excused?
(do we? - we can only make guesses and advices from our own experiences - within our tunnel vision)
"beyond your tunnel vision reality fades away like shadows into the night"
... i try to ... - i guess -
my(/our) brain(s) forgot about how to
deal with the heaviness of reality (/life)
we have to learn it again - step by step
in the past (as babies and children)
we went through it before - noticed/cared?
remember? - guess not - even if it took so long
this time we will and it will take even longer
"the higher you fly the deeper you fall"
i'm still on the run away from this beast
(actually it just has begun)
and i/you can never stop again
(until the end of my/your life)
only slowing down from time to time
and relax a little bit more as time goes by
or it will catch me/you once again
(once addicted - always addicted)
but you(/i) gave(/give) me(/you) hope(?)
it's all about hope, isn't it?
please write down your own thoughts/feelings (has not to be a poem) and keep them
it will help you (if not now) to remember all the mess (if you read it again)
else memories will fade away (tremendously fast) and/or cheat on you
(at least I think that might be helpful - never tried before - i wanted but i forgot;)
as a matter of fact - deep inside human beings - we always want more - guess what -
(can i just do it once (again) to get the full relief? - you can('t handle it?) -
you've to pay for it - the further you go the more - once is a visit twice a relation -
accept it and face the consequences - else you'll enter the vicious circle (again))
if you just started to or you('ll) play again the game of salvation with drugs(/h)
(no doubt about the final salvation - death) - stop it now - it's not a game at all
and if you (really) want to live then leave this life sucking ***** asap - you can
Last edited by donaldstrike; 01-22-2011 at 03:31 PM.
Thanks Donald.......Always nice to raed things others have written. There is a lot of truth in what you ahve written. I hope you don't mind if I join you and post one too?
Can someone remove the floor from my face?
There's Cheerio's and despair all over the place.
How heroin got me here
It's uncertain - yet rather clear.
A cruelty that I can't explain;
Yet I need it just the same.
It slowly dances in my arm
And sings to me it's magic charm.
Left again on the dance floor alone
Beneath a hat I've since outgrown.
My last teardrop disappears through the floor.
Dear God; I don't want to dance anymore.
But I softly sway to the distant beat
As the vibrations massage the soles of my feet.
Embrace my lover once again
Dance into eternity with heroin.
Only to be left on the dance floor alone
Beneath this hat that I've since outgrown.
On my knees with no tears left to cry
Why do you dance solo when I'm begging to die?
Information in this forum is not monitored or provided by a medical professional. The information reflects member opinions only. Do not act on advice from these forums without first consulting a qualified medical professional. All content is copyrighted and protected by Aelius Group.