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  1. #1
    mary Guest

    Default stress stress stress.

    i am so stressed it sucks im onsub and i also have pannic attaks and you cant mix benzos with sub so im having alot of anxiety my life is so stressful my mom died in july my 13 year old daghter acidentally ran her over .let me explain , my mom had custody of my oldet child she raised her well everyday she brouht her to dance lessons well one day driving back from dance it was dark and raining hard my mom felt ill she pulle into a chuch parkinklot to get sick she pulled up a hill and got out she thought the car was in park but it was in reverse so she is running with the car and yelling for my daughter to hit the brake hit the brake well my daughter acidently hit the gas and the door knocked her down and the car ran her over my daugter didnt know what the brake or gas is . anyway our whole family is devistated my daugter lost a mom and so did we all i cant handle it everyone has a mom but not like mine she was the best mom grandma wife freind she was everything she held the family together she was the strength in the family and now shes gone my dad cant handle it so hes at the bar everynight drinking himself to death so im stressed about that i feel like im gonna loose him too. nobody nkows the pain i feel i feel like its my fault if only i was taking my own child to dance this wouldnt have happend its so hard to stay clean with the pain i want to use to forget but im not i have to start healing. although it will never heal .

    mary

  2. #2
    gratefulgreg is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    new castle, indiana, USA.
    Posts
    93

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    I'm so sorry to hear of your family tragedy. The only thing I have to suggest is try to get away from that "if only I had...." stuff. It's not easy, it's such a natural reaction. I just know from personal experience there is no benefit from it and it can sure drive you crazy.

  3. #3
    ashley80 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    , , USA.
    Posts
    2,898

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    Mary, my heart goes out to you and your daughter. I am so sorry this has happened to you, it is not your fault, NOT YOUR FAULT. Guess that doesn't help, but please post if I can do anything at all, don't know what it would be, but I have two girls, 18 and 20, and I know that your daughter means the world to you. and 13 is such a difficult age for you as mom. Please try to hang in, and get a message to me if you need to talk. I would like to help if I can.
    Ashley

  4. #4
    Loop is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    east midlands , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    447

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    Mary...what to say?

    You're really being tested aren't you?Just when you think you've hit rock bottom,things get worse!I'm so sorry about what's happened.You ARE NOT responsible-either for it happening or for holding your family together.I just mean that you're all going through great pain now-can you band together?Yes,you have to stay strong for your daughter but also you have to stay strong for yourself!No one would blame you for messing up but you know it won't make things better,only much much worse-you don't need the W/D demon to fight with too.Are you receiving counselling?Is your daughter too?As for your father,I know how awful alcohol can be and all I can say is be there for him,time does help a little,you need to heal.I really think you need outside help here-you can't be strong for everyone when you're already battling addiction.

    I get panic attacks too,meditation,exercise n yoga helped.My attacks just made me feel so stupid!

    I'm not an expert darling,just a friend n I don't know if anything I've said helps but remember that you're never alone,so many people here care about you and want to help.Keep posting-it can help to get it all out.Again,as Ashley said,if there's anything we can do just let us know.Things may feel awful right now but I promise you things will get better-just take it one day at a time girl.Your mom is up there looking down on you-she wouldn't want to be causing you pain.

    Anyway,I'm thinking of you,sending out vibes of love n positivity n all that.Remember this is a huge thing to have to deal with-for ANYONE-you're doing well just holding things together!

    LOL Loop:)

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