Hi all,
Well, I know most of you think I'm perfect, but I'm about to burst your bubble, so sit down.

I've had some slips (nothing major, and able to stop, but probably not the best idea ), and yesterday I was discussing it
with my therapist. he told me to ask you all what you think. So here's the deal, and I'd really like your opinions about this,
particularly if you have first hand experience or have done any research on the subject.

Many of you know, I smoke(d) black tar heroin. This stuff is really nasty, and is cut with practically everything, from sugar
(not so bad), to plastic (extremely bad). So Dr. Glatt gave me a script for Nalexone when I last saw him end of October. I
have never filled it, and am not particularly excited about the idea. I am conflicted about my use, I haven't "hit bottom",
but in conjunction with my asthma, the stuff practically strangles me. I end up with a horrible cough, really shallow
breathing and spitting up monsters. When I get sick, I end up in the E.R. with a nebulizer in my mouth. When I stopped
using, my asthma cleared up immediately, and I can breath again. Along with the money I was spending, and the time I
was not spending with my friends and other things we all know about, I really needed to quit/cut down/go on
maintenance.

I still believe that there are some benefits for me with opiates, which I won't get into here, but I am not adverse to the idea
of lifelong maintenance if it would make me happier. This clean time is an experiment to see how I feel w/o opiates. (I
mean, it's more than that, but you know...)

So long story only a little shorter... My therapist asked me to call Dr. Glatt again and see about going back on a short
course of Suboxone, or maybe even just using it on big craving days, or something, instead of calling the man. He
figures, and I concur, that if I'm going to slip, it's got to be much better for my health than this crap in my lungs. And by the
way, I know one thing, and that is that while I may slip, I will always stop. I will never go longer than a few days using.
When I decided to use daily, it was a conscious decision I made because I was miserable in a situation that I had no
power to change. Now that problem is fixed, and while I may occasionally slip, I will not use daily ever again. I
absolutely know this.

So the question is about Nalexone. I'm not thrilled about the idea of taking anything daily, but am on my AD's, and
probably will be for life, so I guess when it comes to polluting my body, I'm already a dirty little river. From what I can
gather, there seems to be conflicting ideas about whether it actually helps diminish cravings. I quit cigs with Wellbutrin,
and if Nalexone would diminish my cravings the way Wellbutrin did for smoking, then I am confident that I would have the
will power to not use. Placebos don't work on me, so the idea of taking it would not really do anything for my cravings, it
would have to be an actual chemical change in my tiny little brain. Another problem is, like so many of us girls, I have
issues once a month which demand opiates if I want to remain functional. I use about 5 T3's (tylenol/codeine) each
month, and have never abused them . With the amount of pain I suffer each month (and I'm pretty stoic as that goes) I
would NEVER jeopardize having relief. So if I go on Nalexone, then I have to somehow figure out how to manage my
monthly, maybe by stopping a week before I'm due or something.

The other thing I was thinking about is the occasional use of Suboxone. Seems like not a bad idea, until I get to the point
where I know I will not use (for sure the day my dealer dies, which by the looks of him could be any day now. I've never
bought anything from anyone but him, wouldn't want to and wouldn't actually know how). I mean has anyone ever heard
of occasional maintenance? I really don't think I'm lying to myself about how much/little I'm will use in the future. Of
course, I can't predict it, but I know myself pretty well.

So anywa

well dont know what kind of advise i can give im only 2 days on bup so im still an addict but to me it seems like u need to stay away from all opiates all the time .no more exuses to need pain meds there are new non narcotic pain meds that work as well .put your mind to it u can do it be strong . i dont know your situation but i hope this pertains to u if not u only know deep down what u need to do . so do it. dont let opiate win.[8)]

mary

Hi pinkie,

I thought I responded to this thread, but it seems to have gone away...or, I posted incorrectly from work.

I'm asthmatic as well. I'm curious what you use to treat your asthma? I use Proventil HFA as needed (I developed an allergy to plain proventil -- albuterol, that is -- and it gave me an immediate severe asthma attack!), and Flovent 220mcg 2 puffs twice daily.

I can't take the systemic meds, they raise my liver function. The Flovent, however, saved me! Without it, I have to use my nebulizer daily as well as the Proventil HFA when I'm out of the house. When I use the Flovent as prescribed, I can go 3 days without using an albuterol product!! It's amazing.
Flovent is SO expensive. I was unable to purchase for awhile, and what a difference. I felt awful!

Have you had asthma since you were a kid? I had it as a kid, then it went away until I was 24. It came back with a vengeance!

What triggers you (besides black tar H)? I'm triggered by barometric changes. Living in NJ, this is not good. I'm terrible in hot humid weather. And, in extreme cold.
Thankfully, I'm NOT allergic to cats. What would I do without Fred the Cat?!

By the way, how are you feeling (other than your asthma)?

I look forward to your response...

Pinkie,
I have used naltrexone for a pretty decent amount of time. Yes, it works, yes it kills the cravings, and I mean kills them. I did not so much as think about it while I was on it. Only after I stopped taking it did I have a serious using thought or a using dream. As far as you always stopping short of a long usage period, and knowing you will NEVER go more than a few days, ... apologies for the bluntness, but please! Anyway, that's my ***** about that Seriously though, the naltrexone really helped me alot, especially in the beggining, I was happy to have the added help. And as far as having reservatrions about being able to use succesfully, only thing I can say is that I was given the gift of desperation through complete and thoughrough beatings by opiates. I hate to sound like a program junkie, but this is so true, when we were beaten we became willing. As far as life long maintenance... I couldn't live with myself. I've been on meth maintenance and absolutely hated it, never done the sub thing but I would truely rather be dead. And for that happy thought, if that's what you really want and can hang with it then cool. My problem was that I never truely knew what I wanted until I got sober for a while and had built a decent life for myself. I hope you work it all out, I'm sure you will. Be well...

Marc

"It is too miserable a way to live to die addicted!"

Posted - 01/28/2004 : 00:35:12
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Pinkie I just pasted this from the other thread in case u didnt read it over there.
Nartrexone worked for me in the past but in the end I stopped taking it as I guess I wanted to use I wasnt ready to stop.
But hey thats all different now I dont wana use so Im gona take the Nartrexone/Narlexone for 6-12 months, it REALLY does WORK I didnt want to use as I said below in my og post I was with users who were geting high and it didnt worry me in the slighted, theres NO WAY i could of sat in that car if I wasnt on blockers it would be really winding me up and I would of used.
Just remember at the end of the day it may help but u HAVE to not want to use and u have to make sure u take the tab every day.
I say try it at least and see how you get on, its your life and I would give yourself every helping hand you can get hold off.
GOOD LUCK


ORIGINAL POST BELOW
Go for it, I start my Subutex taper in a week and then Im going on Nartrexone for 6-12 months, I had real good talks with freinds in
GTA and they really confronted me about my drug use, which for the last 2 months has been subutex, 2 rocks (the first weeek I stopped meth, nothing since) and a few vallium and getting drunk once in a while, but Ive stopped that as I found I was going out more oftern necking more vallium and drinking more jack and coke.
So I had a REAL GOOD think about my future, in 13 years I havnt been clean for more than two months and when I mean clean I mean off everything, for me taking Methadone aint being clean its making steps but u are just half way there.
If I could get funding I would do re-hab and then half-way house for a year.
I used to think that a year is a long time but its FA in the rest of your life.
So I cant get funding so I will do Nartrexone for a year.
U see somtimes I still feel like getting off my face, but more importantly I want to and NEED to get clean and STAY clean, so Im doing what ever it takes.
People go on about "hitting rock bottom" but I never had it that bad, the benefits of being a spolied brat is I didnt run out of money, I think my parents enabled me in that way.
not that Im blaming them, I now know I do need a shrink or therapy just to sort out the feelings that make me feel like i need to get wasted.
God Im rambling again,
Pinkie I say DO what ever it takes to stay clean,if the Nartrexone is gona help then do it, I did it for a while a few years back and i was in a car with some girl who was having a "chase" and it didnt bother me at all.
I found it an amazing pychological barrier, I knew I couldnt use and after a while I didnt even want to.
Good luck girl u have done SO well just keep walking the walk.

tell me about nalax

mary