My husband is detoxing from oxy (60mg a day + vic's) by himself. He tried to detox using Suboxone at a clinic, but it didn't work. He hated the counciling and the suboxone didn't seem to help with his withdrawls at all. He very quickly went back to sneaking Tramadol and then Oxy. It's been 13 days since he quit. I thought he was doing pretty well. We walked every day to try and keep his mind off of it. He was about to lose his mind due to a lack of sleep. He would only sleep in snipits. Now he seems to be sleeping more, but his stomach is still really upset and he says his back hurts. He's always had trouble with his back and neck-hence the pills. He was struck by lightening. I guess I want to know how long do the symptoms of withdrawl last? This is the 3rd time he's had to go through detox. I'm worried he's going to give in and go get more pills. What can I expect with the withdrawl symptoms and his attitude. He wasn't too bad, but these last couple of days he's been super hateful!

Welcome to ODR campgirl.

Not sure how long hubby jumped off the sub? But the sits from jumping off 60mg of Oxys isn't adding up. Neither is the sub not handling WDs?

The acute stage from jumping of the Oxys would have max out after 3-5 days. Usually a week or so of the acute stage...followed by some PAWS. But it would'nt be hitting 2 weeks later.

My guess is you're not getting all the info.

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Thanks. What do you mean by PAWS? I didn't think he should be feeling this way either still. I'm suspicious of whether he's snuck something else and now doesn't have anything and is why he's so hateful when a few days ago he was ok. I feel like he's just trying really hard to make excuses about going back to get more oxy. He gets it from a doctor. I've read where some people say it takes 6 weeks to feel good again. I just am unsure what to really expect. I feel really lost. I'm so sick of him being on these drugs. He wasn't when we met. He was healthy, worked out, and was totally different. The last year he's lost so much weight and is constantly sick to his stomach and sleeps all the time. His mood goes up and down-it's like a roller coaster. I just want him off of it. I don't know how much more I can take.

PAWS would be Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms. I'm sick myself so I'm sorry but will make this short. Suboxone never worked for me either, was very frustrating. Just doesn't work for some people. All I can say is try and hang in there, and try to talk to your husband about what is really going on. Addicts are very good at masking the truth about their use. Hang in there and I'm pulling for you.

Here's some links that may help:
Pain-Med forum; The BEST of the BEST ODR links & stickies

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Campgirl, you wrote:
He hated the counciling and the suboxone didn't seem to help with his withdrawls at all. He very quickly went back to sneaking Tramadol and then Oxy.

Unfortunately for your h/b detoxing is not just a physical thing. It is also a mental process. Counseling or therapy, meetings or associating with people in recovery, honest participatory converstaion are a PART of mental recovery. If there is not mental recovery then the brain slips back into old patterns of using drugs. Takes brain longer to heal than the body. That he is NOT willing to do the work of counseling, meetings, whatever shows he has a problem with his ego and accepting that he is an addict. Until he does accept this, recovery, I mean total recovery of brain and body will not happen.

Few people do recovery alone, or with the help of a loved one. Alone is isolating, and isolation is a symptom of drug use, and needs to be addressed.

As Jay said he should not be going through this at 13 days if he has not used the opiates you listed for 13 days, something does not add up.

One of the first of many steps in recovery is honesty. Saying the truth, the truth is not the friend of the addict, lying and deception are what keeps him in addiction.

It would help you a lot to not only keep posting on this board, but to get some help, real live help in understanding addiction. ALANON is a good place to start. You do not have a problem, but his problem will AFFECT you! Addiction is a family disease, cause it entails issues of trust, respect, honesty, communication, all values upon which a healthy family rests.

Not trying to scare you but make you more aware. Do not believe what he tells you. It does not add up, I concur with Jay. Be careful how to proceed and before you do understand that you CAN NOT help him with addiction, he has to make the first step and ASK for help, and he has already slighted that option in his opinion of one counseling session? What can happen to loved ones is that they get sucked into the cycle by becoming "addicted" to helping. This addiction leads to enabling the addict to use more. It is a heinous disease, unlike any other.

Please do some research and then get back to us. My bet is that a drug test would be turned down by him. If he just quit as he said, he would have been very sick for 5-10 days depending on the habit and then physically better (although not mentally better). Yet he still is showing physical withdrawal symptoms.

WE are all here to help. I have lived with TOO many addicts. Be careful, be wise, read, learn, but do not base his recovery or your hope for his recovery on what he tells you, unfortunately it is what got me into such messes and brought me down to my knees in not one but three relationships, brought me the wife/g/f, mother to MY knees. BE wise dear girl. Be very wise and keep posting ok?
With much respect and empathy,
annie

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Anne

Thank you all so much for your responses. I'm having a hard time understanding what is going on with him. As I said, he was doing really well getting through the symptoms until a few days ago when he seems to have hit a wall. I read about the PAWS and it sounds like that's what he is going through. He's sick to his stomach but refuses to take any immodium or even ginger root. How long does the stomach sickness last? I've tried to read as much as I can about the withdrawl symptoms and what others have experienced. I am trying to be supportive and kind, but it's very hard to do when he's so foul. I would appreciate any advice about how to best help him.

Camp I think I gave you a little too much information and may have overwhelmed you, I am sorry. How is he sick to his stomach? As in throwing up or as in pains in his stomach? Does he have a fever? Chills? When was he struck . Did he have symptoms from that specifically? Maybe this information can help Jay help you figure out what his withdrawal point is.
Sincerely,
Annie

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Anne

Campgirl
Maybe a check up with the doctor would be a good idea..if he is still sick it may be something else (unrelated to w/d). One person ended up with bacteria from a trip & that was why he was still sick..ya never know. Why won't he take any imodium or ginger?

Hey Campgirl.....the opiates will really mess witht he gasrto issues. Cramps are common during and after. During active addiction the opiates will stop us up like concrete. Once off of them, it's just the opposite. The sub is also a very powerful opiod.

Not sure of his specific symptoms? But there are some yet to be revealed issues.

Without sugar coating, from what you're posting..sounds like he's ping ponging back and forth between the DOCs. Or using the sub as a bridge between them?

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Ok, let me backtrack. I've jumbled things together so I didn't present all the facts.

After the accident, he was in severe pain for months and nearly paralyzed. He got hooked on vic's and percs. His wife divorced him after he tried to get off and he consequently went right back on them. This was 2005.

He moved away, got a job, and then detoxed with Methadone. Although then he got addicted to that and went ct off of it. Early 2006.

He was healthy, worked out and was happy. We met Oct/Nov. 2006. We dated and he moved in w/me & my daughter after a year. We got married in 2008. During this time, he'd lost jobs and his neck and shoulder began hurting again. He went to the dr. who had a CT done. He saw degenerative bone loss & prescribed Tramadol. H/b asked for non-narcotics. I started seeing changes in his mood & noticed the bottle was empty too soon after a while. We moved again b/c of a new job and were apart except on weekends. We were fighting constantly last year and I finally confronted him about the Tramadol. He was so moody and hateful and sick all the time. After a particularly bad argument, he called to tell me he'd made an appt w/a clinic. He went there 2x a week for about 6 months for counceling & dr. for suboxone. He hated every minute of it and didn't ever seem to be better. I began to be suspicious and found a bottle of Tramadol again. I confronted him and he quit treatment all together. To make matters worse, he began driving back to where we used to live and started getting Oxy from his old Dr. Mood swings, fatigue, all of it was back in full force. He never wanted to go out anymore, see friends, or do anything w/my daughter and I. A few weeks ago, he missed her performance. I was livid! It was a final straw in a long line of missing out on our lives. I guess it was a wake up call for him. He told me he knew our marriage is falling apart and it's his fault. He wants it to work and he loves me more than ever. He asked me to support him b/c he was going to go ct. He took his last pill 3/28. I've been with him every day since b/c we both work from home. I don't know how it'd be possible for him to get any drugs b/c I've been watching him like a hawk! The first 4 days were the worst. He was sleeping 30 minutes at a time, cramps w/runs, chills/fever, aches, sneezing, lead legs, you name it.

Now it's been 14 days. He still has chills, he's sleeping 3-5 (if lucky) hrs, cramps and sick to his stomach still, & body aches. Also, he's been much grouchier these last few days. Although, I'm sure it's all taking a toll on him. Are all these still normal? How long do they go for? Is there anything he can do to feel better? I thought he'd feel better by now. That's why I suppose I'm a bit suspicious, although, I don't know how he could get anything. Wouldn't his symptoms be gone if he did take something? I feel very alone and helpless in knowing what to do to help him. I do worry he'll go back on them if he doesn't feel better soon and I don't know if I can physically stop him if he does decide to do so. I really appreciate all the comments and feedback from everyone, so thank you!

Wow, I feel so stupid. I completely forgot about some hydrocodone he gave me a few weeks ago to put in my old bottle from when I had my teeth pulled in case I needed them (I hardly ever take anything for pain). They are all gone. No wonder he didn't seem that bad when he first started his "detox". I also found his last Rx that was filled 3/17. He went throught the whole bottle in 11 days. My point being he wasn't honest about how much he was really taking. He was taking nearly 6 pills a day...180mg a day of Oxy. No wonder he's been so hateful. Maybe he was delaying the side effects a little bit w/the hydrocodone? I told him I loved him last night and he looked right past me and didn't say anything back except I couldn't "talk" him better and he's a sick mf and to just leave him alone.

This really sucks. I've tried to be really patient and understanding and supportive, but he's being a d***! I don't deserve to be yelled at when I ask him how he feels or when I try to get him to take a vitamin or herb to help with the sickness. I pray he makes it through this b/c he obviously doesn't have anything else to take now. I pray I make it through this.

I really do not know how to tell you this, but HE has to ask for help. Not from you, though you love him so much, but from without. From detox, rehab, counseling for addiction, he is stuck in a rut, and your worry makes him feel worse. How sick is this disease. It probably makes no sense to you that you cannot love it all away, as you might do if he had cancer or something else. Truth is he is an addict, and the only person who can help, is HIM, he has to choose recovery. Just think about this, read all your posts over again. Jay said it sounds like ping ponging, and I thought the same thing. Let us know however we can help you.
with sincere respect to you,
and empathy,
annie

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Anne

I think that kunzite has a point over here. When a person is sick he just starts feeling for his in-capabilities and starts coming into pressure from such circumstance. You should take care of him but handle him in such a way the neither he feels bad to being taken care off too much nor does he complain of being let alone. You should help him have a good time recovering and help him to make the whole process a joyful one. I do understand your state of mind, but I would like to act according to the need of the hour.

OK Camp let us know how he is doing and how you are doing. I feel at this point you are feeling the betrayal of addict behavior. It is just that he is sick and needs help, it is NOT that he is a bad person. You have to see the difference. Help usually is most easily received from addict to addict. In other words people get clean most often when they surround themselves with people who have been there and done that.
I don't know sweetpea, but I have spent hours/days even trying to explain what addiction is and what it means to those who love an addict. Not many people really have an understanding of this disease. The disease leaves victims in its path, not just the addict but all who love him. You so need to understand what it is you are dealing with here. If there is any way I can help let me know.
If for some reason he relapses or lies again, do not think by coming on here and telling us that that we will judge him. It is his sickness NOT him that does these things, for addiction sorely affects how our brains work.
There are ways to get through this if you want to take the time to stand by him, but also there are ways that can devastate you while you are trying to help. Honey, my h/b, b/f, and then son were all addicts. I nearly lost my mind totally when my son was in active addiction, not to mention the two before that. I do not want this to happen to you. But if you are honest on here, then we can help you.
With respect and empathy,
annie

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Anne