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  1. #1
    takingtheorangepill is offline Senior Member
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    Default Why do pain meds give me energy? (this is long and

    Can anyone point me in the direction that would solve this mystery for me????
    I'm not asking why I am tired while suffering PAWS, or withdrawl--I'm asking WHY-WHY??!!!! WHY do vicodins, oxycontin, and oxycodone give me energy?
    (I'm not currently takingtheorangepill, I am too lazy to re-register.)
    -but, I HAVE to do something soon. I just spent a hundred bucks on oxycodones today, and I only have two pills left. (@ 8 bucks a pill).
    Two words-fatigue, and depression.
    I think the depression is caused by the fatigue.
    I have been using pain pills for years, so if there is some kind of under-lying cause (like anemia-cancer-lyme disease...you name it), well then vicodin is the cure (ha-ha-ha).
    OK-I'm on a little rant here because the situation really does make me MAD!.
    I took the orange pill (bupe), for 15 days, and the fatigue was, for me-horrible.
    I am a Mom, so I really can't tell the kids to wait a couple weeks for clean clothes, or breakfast etc.
    The number one reason that I MUST take the pills, or heroin if I cannot find the pills, is because without it--I cannot get out of bed.
    BUT---that is not completely true. That is the "now" situation.
    When I gave-up pills before, and took suboxone for 15 days, then detoxed from that, I actually developed a pretty good way to pace my days & nights with some naps, so that I was actually "ok" by 30 days FREE from everything. (it was very ROUGH, with ups & downs and it was scary.)
    Unfortunately, my spouse, continued to offer me the pills even though I begged him not to. I gave-in and one thing led to another and another...
    I have to say that the ONLY reason that I want to quit the pills is the money, and the problem of running out of drugs all the time, or being worried about running-out, and going into various stages of withdrawl.
    So-I guess you guys would think that I'm "not ready"-or I really don't want to stop. I have no choice. I have a small amount of money from our income-tax refund, and after that is gone, I won't see another dime of extra money 'till same time next year. (I need a little "chunk" 'o money to get to the doc.-so it's an investment-my daily addiction cost could be maintained somehow).
    I can use the rest of the money on dope-or to pay my addiction doctor.
    OK-so I'm rambling, and to get back to my topic, WHY?
    Why does this stuff give me energy????
    I currently have no pain issues that cannot be handled with motrin, so it's not a question of pain relief.
    I know that when I quit-it will get worse before it gets better, but
    my major complaint is the fatigue.
    I am planning on doing a couple of things different this time.
    I'm going to request provigil. I never tried it so I don't know if I could tolerate it.
    I know that Adderall is way too strong for me-I tried it once and I almost had kidney failure as my body tried to piss it out of my system.
    I will not take anti-depressants as even the word seretonin (spelling?)-scares the crap outta me and I don't want to mess with that.
    Wellbutrin???? I'm thinking of putting that in the mix(ok-it probably affects the "S" thing--I know I'm full of contradictions, a walking cognitive dissonant).
    Jeeeez! If we only had a road-map for this stuff! So much of it depends on one's individual body chemistry & circumstances!
    But, there are many symptoms that we all share to one degree or another.
    So, I guess I'm asking my dumb question (see topic--->"WHY...", and I'm also asking for some support, because even though I going into grudgingly, it looks like I must take the Bupe again.
    I should also add that if you asked my family, or any of the people in my life, even though most of them do not officially know about my "problem",
    they would probably be in favor of my continuing addiction.
    As you guys all know, moms don't get a day-off, so asking everyone to pitch-in for a week or so is out-of-the question. My immediate family
    will predictably just act-out by destroying the house.
    And the rest of my circle has their own problems.
    When I'm properly doped-up, well--I guess I would call it functioningly dysfuncti

  2. #2
    Mic Guest

    Default

    Wow-
    Your honesty is incredible. I was gonna blast you, but I read it again and realized that you are being honest and how can I argue with that?
    Well, I think for addicts, our DOC will always give us energy. When we use, we're in our "comfort" zone.
    Sounds to me as though you're not ready to be clean? In fact, as addicts we tend to minimize, legitimize, and deny. Sound familiar? Maybe the reason you're able to continue the insanity is cuz you've not suffered severe consequences as a result of using?
    And as far as your comment about others: "I should also add that if you asked my family, or any of the people in my life, even though most of them do not officially know about my "problem",
    they would probably be in favor of my continuing addiction."

    That's your disease talking, IMHO. Stay after it, sobriety is wonderful, but you gotta be ready. Be safe. Mic

    Lastly, where you state: "As you guys all know, moms don't get a day-off, so asking everyone to pitch-in for a week or so is out-of-the question. My immediate family
    will predictably just act-out by destroying the house." getting clean and sober isn't always "convenient". If you were diagnosed with cancer and needed a little time to treat it, would you somehow be able to pull it off? My sponsor told me that "Anything I put in front of my sobriety, I will lose." In other words, if you continue on your path of self-destruction, you may not need to worry about taking care of the family while you are trying to save your life. Make sense?
    Thank you for the dose of perspective this fine day.
    Mic


  3. #3
    SoWeak is offline Member
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    Dec 2004
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    , Mb., Canada.
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    Default

    I have tried many anti-depressants including Prozac (made me aggressive), Paxil (made me impotent... temporarily), Welbutrin (the smokes won), Zoloft (helped me but gave me unbearable heart burn) and finally Celexa.

    I have been on it for several years now and it has managed my depression quite well (obviously didn't stop me from using though, in fact I think using opiates actually NEGATED its' effects temporarily).

    My understanding is that Celexa is considered one of the "mildest" of the anti-depressants but I have been through them all and it has worked well for me with no side-effects. My dad and my sis and a friend who is a high-performance athlete have also had success with it.

    Couldn't hurt to investigate!

  4. #4
    takingtheorangepill is offline Senior Member
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    May 2004
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    Default

    -thanks for the reply, and that saying---even though those sayings sound corny, and I never heard of that one before, I guess that one
    applies exactly to my situation.
    Yeah-I am in some denial about my family situation. When I had that short-time of being drug-free, last Summer-I could see where my kids need a non-stoned mom, instead of a zombie slave woman (<--me) who puts food on the table but has no heart.
    It is tough though, and it is just easier for my family to expect me to do everything for them except wipe their butts.
    I can relate to the fact that if I had cancer or if my leg was broken, my family would be forced to deal with it, but the situation-like I mentioned, is "classic" dysfunctional.-to change things by quitting would upset the entire tribe. To be really honest, they could all survive a week-long "flu-like-sympton", withdrawl, even though I'm using it as an excuse (telling myself that they could not handle it). What was I thinking, posting my excuses here, where you guys of all people could see through it in a second? I guess I thought if I could get someone to go along with my warped line of reasoning, maybe I thought I could get some validation for my
    dumb descision to stay high all the time and throw all my money away.
    So, thank-you for telling me in a kind way--and giving something me valuable (your sponsor's message)-that I'm full of you-know-what.
    "when I use the loss of something as an excuse to keep using-I will loose that too."---something like that???-"anything you put in front of your sobriety-you will loose it." (thank-you for telling me that)
    When I made my post, I was firmly decided to see my addiction doctor asap. Looks like I fixed that for myself too, waiting 'till Friday to face the problem, so that I can put it off 'till Monday.
    -and I used my entire stash/supply of pills, as a "last harrah"!, so I'll probably have to get more just to get through the weekend....YIKES....I really do need to find my old Blue-book, or some other inspiration, or even a real-live-meeting---I'm not falling for the little head games that I'm playing with myself.




  5. #5
    twin2 is offline Member
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    Oct 2004
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    chicago, illinois, USA.
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    Dear Takingtheorange pill,

    Your post is HILARIOUS!!! Only because I feel like you and I are living the same life when it comes to fatigue and family being LAZY!!!!! I have been off duragesic for 23 days now, and my energy level is still pretty low. I look around the house and freak out at everything that needs to be done. Talk about wiping butts!!!!!!!! It is so true that If I had cancer or a broken leg things would be alot different. It seems my recovery from narcotics just doesn't rank when it comes to an illness. I do think it takes a long while to detox completely. I have been to an accupuncturist, and he says the longer you have been on meds, the longer to fully detox the liver. That is also the reason for the depression, your liver is toxic. He gave me some treatments that really helped and some vitamins to help get all the toxins out of the body. They also do help with my energy. I can't help thinking though, if only I had some vics I could clean up this house and go grocery shopping, and do the laundry, drive the kids to their events, make a wonderful dinner and then have energy left over for the mister (if you know what I mean!) Well the truth is , I did start with a little vicodin, and it just felt too good and I stopped. It would send me right back into something terrible, and The Lord knows how I suffered cold turkeying, and I will NOT DO THAT AGAIN. Have faith and please get clean. Just know it is gonna take a while. I am a person who wants everything done now, and that just ain't gonna happen while I am getting well. Accupuncture totally made me turn a corner when it comes to getting my energy back, but I still have some really dark days. I just keep thinking about springtime. I know that by then, I will be well. You sound like an awesome, funny person, and I totally understand where you are coming from, but there is absolutly no way being on pills is in your best interest. Stay strong and keep talking here. I know this site helped me more than I can say. Good luck to you orange, and I know you can do the right thing!! cherie xxoo

  6. #6
    Mic Guest

    Default

    Dear Takingtheorange pill,

    I can't pinpoint exactly why I feel this way, but after reading your most recent post, all I could think of was, "she will be one of the lucky ones. She will get this thing right". Don't know when or how, but my intuition tells me....
    Good luck, and be safe.
    Mic

  7. #7
    twin2 is offline Member
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    Default

    BRAVO MIC!!

    Couldn't have said it better!! Go Miss O!!

    Love ya,
    Cheriexxoo

  8. #8
    ashley80 is offline Senior Member
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    Default

    TTOP, I have to add this...as long as you feel you "cannot take a week off" due to your family obligations, and that they (your family) need or prefer you to be on the pain pills...( as opposed to being sick for a while so you can get off them...), you are going to be stuck in a miserable, vicious cycle.

    I only say this because I've been right there...and told myself "I can't stop...I can't function without them, and people depend on me." Unfortunately that's just one more way we keep ourselves sick. You have do what it takes, in the short term, to reap the long term benefits.

    And it's very possible that a major reason why you have no energy WITHOUT pain pills is that you have been taking them for so long. It takes a LONG time to recover from a lengthy opiate run...six months to a year for some of us. Take the chance and give it another shot. I believe it will be worth it.

    Hope you don't take offense to this...I just saw myself in some of what you posted.

    Ashley


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