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Thread: Starting on my road...

  1. #25
    charless is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    Just sent an email to my boss stating I was going though some emotional issues and needed the day off but if it was a problem and would compromise my employment I would come in. I just don't see myself making it though the day in the state I am in. Me bursting out in tears at a team meeting, we have 2 today, would not be good.

    This gives me a chance to hit a meeting at noon again and sit on here and read until then.

  2. #26
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    sudokudee is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    You gotta do what you gotta do. There's a great saying...it goes something like this "anything you place in the way of getting clean, you will lose anyway".....and it's so true. I spent so many years trying to keep multiple plates spinning in the air and they all came crashing down anyway. I should have just put them down and gotten clean.....but had to keep trying to keep them spinning...like an idiot. There will always be other jobs and I'm sure you can work this out with your boss. Hang in there.

    dee
    Dee--off MMT 9-12-06

  3. #27
    charless is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    Thanks for being here to talk to me. I am just trying to live in the moment and lose myself in some of the wonderful stories on here.

    As far as employment I am real good in my field and have a wealth of knowledge. I just know I have not been myself in soo long and no longer have the drive to better myself if that makes sense. I want to get there but understand it's a long way off. As they say I did not get addicted to the pills overnight it's not going to come easy to rid myself of them.

    A funny thing is when I was able to work going through WD everyone would comment on how good I looked even though I felt like complete poop. Really tells me how these pills have impacted me.

  4. #28
    charless is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    Great news, boss man said it was not problem to take the day off. This is like a huge weight off my shoulders at least for today. Not going to think on tomorrow just yet.

  5. #29
    Parachute is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    Good for you. Take care of yourself today, hydrate, hot baths are a Godsend in your condition. Practice remembering that feelings are not facts, and that they all will pass. As addicts we live based on how we feel....take right action for yourself Charless, and the right feelings will slowly but SURELY arrive in your life. You are doing this, you never have to go thru this again.

    Keep reacching out. Connecting with others saved my life, many times.
    alirpa likes this.
    PEACE

  6. #30
    charless is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    Just got done with a 30 minute walk and am on my second glass of water. I use to hate the stuff and would only drink coke or some other form of liquid but am forcing it down my gullet.

    Also another milestone for me. I just set up an appointment to see a counselor. It's the same one I saw sometime ago when I was young. This was for ADD. From reading reviews he treats adults/addicts/ADD and I remember having good luck with him. I will see how it goes. It is set for next Wednesday.

  7. #31
    charless is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    Just trying to make it until 11. The meeting is at noon but I think if I show up early maybe I can meet some people even though I am dreading it.

  8. #32
    charless is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    I made it! It is 2PM out here in the east coast.

    And I also met some amazing people. People that would just tell me as long as I kept trying I could be clean. Man the tears. I still feel like absolute ****, about myself and its how my body feels but right now I am clean and am trying my hardest to stay that way. That 3D support was what I really needed and still need. I got some numbers and just got off the phone with a guy. He only has 30 days clean but knows exactly what I am going through. Told me I can call him day or night. It's something I really need right now. Help. I can't do this on my own. I have failed way too many times. I am going to try for another meeting tonight.

  9. #33
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    sudokudee is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    charless~

    You are doing such a fantastic job and should be so proud of yourself. Sounds like you really needed new friends. I don't know how the heck you made it to all those meetings in acute withdrawal but a big congrats to you. I'm betting you're gonna start to feel a lot better physically starting tomorrow. Try to eat and drink. You might not feel like it but it will make you feel better....I know from experience.....dee
    Dee--off MMT 9-12-06

  10. #34
    charless is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    Thanks for the kinds words. The amount of caring random, scratch that, COMPLETE strangers have shown me the past 2 days have ment the world to me. Just keeping on, keeping on. Hour by hour, minute by minute and second by second.

    Going to try and lay down for a bit and zone out. I really want to make a meeting tonight.

  11. #35
    charless is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    Still getting on. I know I post to much but it keeps my mind off things.


    I consider you a new friend dee. Your support has been amazing to me. I hope you are doing well tonight and things are going your way.

  12. #36
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    ladianios is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Starting on my road...

    Glad to hear your still truckin man...you're almost there..a few more days and you'll start to feel human again. You r right about the support here. Withoit the efforts of this board I surely would have failed...really helped me early on and now I in turn try to help here through my experiences...hows work, sleep, eating?
    Not sure where I am headed, but I'll get there!

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