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I am trying again to get clean. I have a meeting with a lady Wednesday at lunch that is an old friend from AA. Am going to ask her to be my sponser and a call back into the EAP at work to restart counseling. Am working on tapering with the pills i have left, not sure that i'll be successful, but im thinking if i can get lower than i have been (150-180mg hydro) then anything lower is better. Today ive had 120 & i intend to take 1/2 pill (5mg) shortly when i go to bed, so while that is still way too many pills its a little better. Tomorrow shooting for 11 total & then so on. At any rate, since i've tried this many times before Im trying to think about different options. The thing for me that is different this time is that i had a major work audit hanging over my head for months now. It was horribly stressful & i just couldnt be unavailable. I finished it & it went great! Im in a wonderful place now at work, my stress is reduced in half & i feel this is it, what i've been wrestling with-getting this out of the way. Ive heard people talk about & recommend IOP. I know it means intensive outpatient but i dont know exactly what happens there. I was in treatment for 30days inpatient when i was 20 (20+ years ago). So i know what inpatient is & i was actively involved in AA/NA before so i understand that. I just dont know exactly what IOP is, what its primary benefit is, how it differs from counseling & meetings etc... I am ready this time. Im starting to fear for my health, i feel like crap all the time & i want to get my sh** together & LIVE. I read someone elses title-i just wanna be me again, and i agree- i just wanna be me again, off the pills. Thanks.
Hey Sid.....IOP as you know is Intensive Out-Patient and it was part of my regimen 2 years ago....I did an 8 day stint in In-patient....got out and went directly to IOP and NA meetings.....I checked into a detox/rehab on Dec 26 2007, so I have been drug free now for over 25 months....which is great!!! No more cravings or desires after a 5-6 year twenty four/seven opiate addiction. IOP had two counsellors and a group of people who were present for various addictions.....the counsellors helped by having people voice their goals and what led them to this point.....I went 3 days/week for a month....then 2 days a week for a month.....then 1 day a week for the last month=3 months total. It helps, as did NA for me, because it kept me out of my own head and let me keep busy learning that I needed a plan in place to keep my recovery firing on all cylinders. I acquired the willingness to do whatever it took/takes to stay drug free....a strong resolve to see it through and a strong Conviction to keep it that way. Over 2 years now, and I can assure you that life is sweet with no dependency or addiction to a pill we thought was our best friend....some friend, huh?? tapering isn't easy....I tried it and stopped cold turkey, but was lost in my mind and that is why I checked myself into a detox/rehab facility....just to get my head back on and be around people and and excellent medical staff to make me comfortable....after that, the rest was up to me :-) All the best my friend!!!
Your worst day of not using, is better then your best day using!
It helps, as did NA for me, because it kept me out of my own head and let me keep busy learning that I needed a plan in place to keep my recovery firing on all cylinders. I acquired the willingness to do whatever it took/takes to stay drug free....a strong resolve to see it through and a strong Conviction to keep it that way.
Spot on description!!
Hey Sidney....each facility is a little different. As to what to expect....some amount of group and individual counseling. Some amount of monitoring,maybe drug testing. Some amount of a support plan exposure. Some amount of accountability.
As to what it is....Bobby's description is right on the money!:)
You can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking that caused them in the first place.
My son is in IOP...his schedule is out pt group 3 nites a week, monthly psych visit & NA 3 nites a week. They gave him one nite off because he is taking a welding course but he does try to hit a meeting during the day (he is not working right now). He is 6 weeks out of 6 month inpatient rehab. The continous support & a sponsor seem to really help him keep his mind set in check. To answer your question, that seems to be the major benefit, everyday he is accountable for his actions & gets positive support for his good choices. Meetings are great but for some addicts there has to be a structured therapy to help people learn to change old behavior.
Next question-tapering is what I do..hard but the only way I can stop. I put the amt of pills allowed in small envelopes & date them. That is all I can take for that day. If I take most of them early then I am out of luck later. At first I would "borrow" from the next days envelope only to be freaking out if I did not have enough to the next refill. The other thing I have been told is to take the heavest dose in the am & the very least evening/bedtime. So with 10 you would take 3, 3, 3 then 1 at bedtime. Or what ever would work for you.
Thanks for the responses. The thought of treatment terrifies me. Not because i am scared of the process- i would love the opportunity to get healthy & work on whatever issues are beneath the addiction, but scared of the "cost"- the associated issues with family, friends, work & so on. So im still mulling that over, but today i am open to saying "you know what i may have to say what the heck"... I have stabilized on 100mg hydro. I feel better already, i mean physically i dont feel great (i was in the 150-180 range just a few days ago)-but right now anxiety and that "nerves coming alive" are the worst w/d symptoms. Ive had some cravings to use more, but this time ive been able to just let them go.. remind myself of my goals. Someone mentioned before getting your goals in front of you. I have them in my cell phone now at top so i can review as needed. My luncheon with friend went fabulous-she's doing great, willing to be involved & we are planning a trip "ziplining" when i finish taper/w-d. Would be girls trip with her & another old friend from AA. I still have a long way to go but my goal is jump date of Friday Feb 26th, call in sick that monday, holiday tuesday & then back to work until the 11th March- then off til the 24th- a long needed break & i figure i should be past worst part of physical, but not back to 100%- so i can focus on rest, working out, meetings, eating right, well me & my recovery. Ive decided that regardless how my taper goes- thats my day- so i can make it easy or hard on myself! I had an old dealer looking for me earlier this week- i didnt take the bait-ive deleted her # & didnt pursue. still got 2 more to knock out of my life-they're next- but just for today im happy right where im at & i love the envelope idea. Doing a varient of that & its helping
Good plan, your post "decided that regardless how my taper goes- thats my day- so i can make it easy or hard on myself!" I hope you can make it easier on yourself...
Keeping your goals in front & the excitement of a girls trip are all good things & should really help you.
I keep an index card that says positive things so I can pull it out & see my goals & what I have to look forward to. Anxiety is tough...maybe focus on breathing like they advice during labor..
Bleeeeckkkk, today the exhaustion really sucks. I was so worn out at work, but i have done alright. I am still at 90 mg, but starting to feel the taper more i think. Today, i returned the call of a "friend" and left a message to not call me any more i wasn't doing that anymore. This was my biggest "friend" and i was very direct in my message. 2 down 1 to go! I am pleased today that even while feeling really crappy i was able to cut that cord. So now im in bed watching re-runs preparing to try and get a little extra rest. Hope everyone else is having a good weekend
Information in this forum is not monitored or provided by a medical professional. The information reflects member opinions only. Do not act on advice from these forums without first consulting a qualified medical professional. All content is copyrighted and protected by Aelius Group.