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Hey everyone. I feel that my previous thread has gotten to the obnoxious point (probably did about a week ago) and is taking up too much room on the main page, so I'm starting over here. Fast, BOAG, Chris, Jill, and anyone else who made themselves at home, please find yourself welcome to borrow my thread for whatever you need. I believe you'll find it just as homey and accommodating as the last.
I guess I should tell you a little bit about myself. [;^)] Just quickly...I've been doing random drugs since I was thirteen. Most recently, obviously, pills had become a major problem in my life. I tapered down, and September 16th was the first day in two-and-a-half years that I didn't do any on my own volition, as opposed to because I couldn't find any. Then, October 2nd marked my first truly sober day. I gave up beer and pot. Things have been okay, I've had my ups and downs, but I'm glad I'm here and I'm glad I'm clean today.
Thanks Ar but...there are lots of new people and my thread was taking up almost a quarter of the main page. That's not right....You know? This is better. I'm not looking to delete it or anything, this is just part two.
The air is better in this room anyway. I can breathe more freely.
For what it's worth, kiddo, I think you're doing great. Furthermore, you're gaining strength (emotional and spiritual...and, no doubt, physical) everyday. Good for you!
Oh, yes---a new thread is a good idea. Sort of a (new) fresh start. Besides, it's also not quite as intimidating (for the newcomer to read) as a Tolstoy novel!
You can always look back at those 60-something pages as...as a History Book, YOUR History Book: The Early Day Chronicles of a Young Woman Beginning Recovery. Then, in the days, the weeks, the months and the years(!) to come, you'll look back at your posts (and the replies to your posts) and you'll remember WHO, exactly, you were. Who you were back then, compared to who you are NOW. And, know what? Even those posts that MIGHT make you cringe a little, or maybe blush a shade or two deeper red, or, perhaps, even SURPRISE you with how wise you actually were (in fits 'n starts, maybe...but still)...WHOMEVER you were in those posts is (duh!) who you WERE. To be able to compare then with (your) now is, IMO, a gift. Save them as Ariel History.
At least, this junkie's opinion.
Okay, before I sign off on this post, I wanna comment on something Arlene wrote earlier today. She wrote,
quote:"I do have one concern, Ariel. Going to meetings with your BF. Pegging your recovery to his recovery. Leaving when he was uncomfortable... and you were not. Worrying about whether the meeting was too much for him...or not...Honey...your recovery is all about you. Not your BF...The other thing, darling...is that when you both go to the same meetings, its difficult if not impossible to share honestly. You're going to be prone to holding things back out of fear. If you wish to continue to go a meeting together...then be sure to find your own meetings as well. Perhaps a woman's stag."
Ariel, I think Arlene is 100% correct. Lord, I don't have to tell you HOW effing difficult it is to take care of oneself during recovery. To care for another person, even IF that person is special, even precious, to you is too much...it's too hard.
Especially, Ariel (I hope I'm not going too far here!)...especially with this friend. Based on nothing but MY conclusions from your posts, you seem to want this more than he wants it...and the worry, the stress, the difficulty of sparring with him if 'n when there's some kind of conflict...as there PROBABLY(?) will be, at some point, will just add unnecessary stressors to your life...and to your efforts.
Good Lord yes, your BF should seek out recovery! But only if HE wants it. Based on my experience, when two people recover together, successfully---they recover separately (at the same time, but separate) and, post-recovery, when both are clean 'n sober, they can then hit the meetings together, as a team. Before that time, however, it's just tough. Impossible? No, I'm sure it's not. but hard? yeah, it's damned hard.
Really Ariel, I hope I'm not being, like, overly familiar. There ain't really too much I know, but, well---I sorta know a little something about this. FWIW.
Information in this forum is not monitored or provided by a medical professional. The information reflects member opinions only. Do not act on advice from these forums without first consulting a qualified medical professional. All content is copyrighted and protected by Aelius Group.