gretting to you all-i've been a junkie for 20 years.one of them guys who has a very high tolerance. i came home from prison a little over 3 years ago( shot dope the entire incarceration,even o.d.ed in prison).really wanted to do the right thing.but history repeated it self and i was back on dope-i stopped shootn H awhile ago and started to eat perks.it got me off the needle(which is a good thing)!!but i still had a opiate habit,tried suboxone a few times- but ended up sick,or just couldnt sleep-and went back to opiates.today is 5 days with no opiates-but i have been using suboxone to help me.i have onley been eating 2 or maybe even 1 m.g once in the morning to get me through the day-and a 100 m.g. trazadone at night to help me sleep.now dig it has not been e- z...but i am doing it,yeah my legs are driven me insane and my emotions are all twisted and my chest is about to burst from the anxiety-but this detox has been the most tolerable one yet,i didnt say e.- z.cuz man let me tell ya i'm going through it- but if this is what it takes for me to accomplish being opiate free then this is what i got to do!!i see alot of of people on here that sayes they been on some sort of opiate for a year or two and are haven trouble- well let me be your hope-ive been a opiate user for 20 yrs.+ and trust me it seems like all i wanted for my entire life is to be off dope-matter afact i sit here in tears and my head is so twisted, i dont know if i'm cryen because i am closer to being opiate free then i have ever been or because of the with draws-(**)!! i just am not sure.this moren was rough-but i didnt take any suboxone.and i am feeling better then i did yesterday when i took a little piece of sub. i'm just plain ol' scared of suboxone-i dont want to have to withdraw from it also. so-sofar this is working for me-but i also know i got a long way to go.sh*t- as i sit here and write my sick little mind is tryen to tell me - you didnt eat no suboxone today- acouple, few perks wont hurt-aw maybe a bag will get me through the day. sick man ,just plan sick ya know...but in my heart i know its me wanting to feel better or just wanten(needen to get high)-but if i do that i might be losen out on the possibility that i may feel alitte better tomarrow if i dont,and listen my friends its not worth that i might not get to feel better tomarrow-that i wouldnt be able to know if i would of...i read in some ones words on here that everyone is differnt and we all handle are problams and with draws differently.after along struggle and the maney people i've spoke to i belive this to be true!!so take a long look at youself and your addiction and YOU decide what you need to do for youself.and i also belive this board is a wonderfull thing-thanks with all my heart and good luck!!

two flipping weeks i lasted. Started on 16mg (first detox), this time 16mg a day reduced to .4mg had a two day slip up, and doc put me up to two mg, why i don"t know , but doc knows best ..NOT. seeing my counsellor thurs 17th july and going to ask her about giving me some britlofex and do the JUMP. BTW... this would have been my 13th year on brown, barr the first 6 wk detox.. and with everybodys help on this board, (wish i found this site years ago), it just happens i was on another site and was referred here by a guy calle d passive prisoner, hope he"s ok as i have"nt seen him here yet? and thankyou lilac girl on giving me the confidence to put my first (of many i hope) post on this forum, thanks all, stay safe , stay clean.. malc

PS- sorry pp hope you don"t mind me giving you a mention.

c"mon you can do it !

Keep it up, shamu1488, you`re on the way! Had a 20 year habit myself, so I know how you feel, man. I`m on bupe, though, but that`s the way it is. You can make it! You know what they say - quitting drugs is just all about surviving long enough to actually kick the habit - being an adult has its advantages.

I'm a long time lurker and just started posting on a similar thread. Getting some awesome advice from jdude. I wanted to also post on this thread as it is also appropriate.

Long story short, I would play with perks and vics from 97 to 2003 without ever getting addicted. Discovered Roxicet (30 mg blues) when i moved to south florida from manhattan. This was around mind 2004. Tried countless times to quit, went CT at least a dozen times. About a year and a half ago i heard about subutex, and decided to try it "once and for all". My pattern would be to take it for about 14 days and tapering all the way. Around day 14 when the dose was under 2 mg i would cave and go back to vics, percs, or roxys. Until i'd get fed up again and go back on the subs... for of course... about 14 days, lol. By the way, i'd usually average about 150 - 250 mg of doc when i was using.

I'd like to say that this time is different (insanity of course). I'm on day 6 of the subs and already down to 1 mg. I'm thinking of stopping completely tomorrow. And here is my question (drumroll plz)

Is there ANYONE here who has done a 7 day taper from sub, and ended with close to zero wd and no paws? Every post i see is from someone who's been on the subs for weeks, months, and even years. I've read enough horror stories about the long term paws, and looking to dodge it. So if anyone has any thoughts of what a 7 day stint on sub will do, i'd really appreciate it.

PS - I'm well aware that i'm going to do some drastic thought and action changing to STAY clean even if i do get through all this... the staying clean is the demon that always defeats me... hope to hear from y'all. And Jdude, thanks for your time, your advice, your wisdom, and your neverending patience so far, i really really appreciate it.

Hey roxy. Not me, I was on sub for a few months and it sucked, but I know Janice (Sluggo) did a short-term sub detox that worked great. Definitely keep the use as short term as possible! Listen to Jdude...he knows what he is talking about.

Roxy -- I did a 9-day sub detox in March 2006, and got off with little fuss or fanfare. Cravings and things, sure, and some PAWS -- but I was on my DOC for a long time and the sub for nine days, so I don't blame the sub for the month or so of 'blah' I had. I stayed clean for about six months after that ... would've had longer had I continued to work at recovery. Incidentally, my 9-day taper looked like this (I should have started lower, I didn't find this site until the second day): 12, 12, 6, 5, 4, 4, 3, 2, 1 and off.

OMW is right -- keep the dose as low as you can. It makes sense and makes life a LOT easier.
-d

Hi all... October 31st. was one year off of Suboxone for me.i feel like i am now fairly stabilized ,but it sure has been an interesting ride this past year..also in January i will have been sober from Alcohol,Pot,Cocaine and Ecstasy for 4 years after 20+ years of use and abuse...I can't believe that either!?
Halloween will always be my jump anniversery and this year as i was pulling out some old pants to wear for a costume i reached in the pocket and ....what did i find? an 8mg. pill wrapped up in tissue paper..wow talk about the universe alining ...so being the good junkie i am i didnt flush it right away i put it in a box on my dresser...for what i dont know but old behaviors die hard ....it wasnt untill the next day that i told on myself and requested to my wife that SHE flush it....and she did.
So now i have a lot of time to think about if i did the right thing by staying on suboxne for almost 3 years...and i would have to say.... yes. and i now see how they are putting a lot of young kids (20's)on this powerful drug and i wonder if that is the right thing to do. i think anyone who has a LONG history of abuse or relapse can benefit from this drug ,but if youre not fully commited to changing your life... dont bother ,because its all or nothing ""half measures availed us NOTHING ! """i needed to work a program and build a support group of sober people before i could even think about living a life of sobriety ...
and now i would not trade it for ANYTHING ....even another line ,bag, pill ,bundle,bottle
Suboxone is a very powerful drug and i dont think they fully understand what it does to an addicts body because i went through some crazy phyisical side effects after stopping and like what has been said here before getting off of it for me was hell....like passing through fire and thats why one needs a STRONG support to get through this phase of returning to a sane way of living....you CANT do it alone...but there is a solution ...i tell you at every meeting i go to when we have a moment of silence for the still suffering Alcoholics and Addicts i think of this forum and how many people are living lives of misery tide to their next pill their next bundle and i think how l lucky i am ......
It[xo] works if you work it! and im living proof. peace ,JOHN

thanks for the post John, and congrats on all you have accomplished, which is a lot, and that is a lot to be proud of. Look at my mantra, and keep it in mind, if you have a bad day, it helps. You have gone a long way forward, don't ever look back. I don't even know you and I am proud of you.

Angela

Don't look back, You're not going that way.

Hi everyone, Subgal here to post her story of being on sub for almost 3 years, then off of sub for 2 years come Feb. 15th 09 -

My drug of choice was Hydro 10mg, daily use of 30-40 pills, or more if I could get them. Percs was also a favorite of mine. I was heavy in this addiction, along with my fiance. I definately remember towards the end of this that we both hated our lives, and were contemplating suicide almost daily. The things we had to go thru to get the pills, mostly thru the internet, I should say mainly thru the internet....the withdrawals when we ran out. Just the whole craziness of it all, we both were tired of it and looking for a way out.
July 2004 is when I went on sub, as did he. We were amazed at how great this sub worked!! We thought it was a miracle and that we were saved. As time went by, problems arose and he moved back to PA, I stayed here in SC. Also at that time I was having a hard time affording the amount of sub my doc had us both on which was 3ea 8mg tabs a day. So on my own, I cut back to half, and my sub doc kicked me out of his program stating that I was "self medicating"? You would think me cutting back would be a good thing, but from the very begining he wanted me to stay on the 24mg daily forever.
So my fiance being in PA, found another sub doc, and he actually supplied me until his death in Nov 06. When I went to his funeral, his mom gave me the sub he had left, and I knew this was going to be it for me.
I stayed on 2mg for a month, then 1 mg, until I was out. And that was it. It was tough as I was working a very physical job during all this. Coming off the sub, the only side effects I had that I remember were not being able to sleep, no motivation, no desire, cold sweats and big time NO FOCUS!! But I actually started to feel, during taking the sub towards the last year, a loss of hearing, vision and focus. Things I used to do very fluently, were very, very hard for me. I struggled greatly.
So as I said its going to be 2 years off the sub come Feb 09 and I finally am able to focus better and have done good so far. Pills never entered my mind and for me life was good.
(I am telling this part because I am an honest person almost to a fault and to not disclose it I would feel like Im betraying people.)
Until........ come Oct 13th of this year I fell down 19 steps backwards walking up to my apartment. I worked for 2 weeks like this because after getting X-rays, they said they didnt see anything broken, so I kept working, but hurting like crazyyyyy!
I finally went to my family doc, who knows of my addiction and she ordered an MRI. Come to find out I had cracked my sacrum all the way across. OUCH!! So she referred me to a radiologists who performed a new procedure called vertobroplasty and I thought I was healed. He did prescribe me over the course of a month and a half, 120 percs, and I know I should of said something to him, but I really hurt. I tried to go back to work 3 different times through the course of these past 2 1/2 months.
So cutting to the chase, Ive been in and out of work since Oct and due back Jan 5th. I took my last percocet on Dec 24th and I guess Im waiting for the world to cave in but other than sniffles, and having to take immodium, I am feeling okay? Kinda down but I think that is more to do with cabin fever than anything.
So the question is would I ever go the sub route again? Really hard to say, at that time I felt like it saved my life. In the long run, I feel like it cost me alot that has been very hard to get back.
I never intend on being in that position again.
I can say this, taking pain medication for my injury this time around, made me depressed, and I did NOT get that great feeling that I did so many years ago.
So there is my input, hope it helps someone out there!
Major Hugz
Subgal

MAJOR HUGZ TO YOU FOR PUTTING THIS OUT HERE FOR EVERYONE THATS WONDERING(SHOULD I?)
After reading this twice,its so odd how much of what you said about how the SUB BACKFIRED ON YOU is EXACTLY WHAT IT DID TO ME!(STEVE222)I do so REMEMBER SUB HELL (thats what i call it)not just the unending agony when i stopped useing it,but the SHEAR MISERY OF THE SIDE EFFECTS OF IT after about the 6 month mark on it.BUT ALOW ME TO DIGRESS A BIT,THE FIRST MONTH OR TWO ON IT,i thought i had a miricle handed down from god himself,I FELT GREAT,NOT HIGH GREAT BUT JUST PLAIN BACK TO MY(NORMAL SELF GREAT)i started at 8mg(week 1)4mg(week 2)and then stayed at 2or 3mg for over about 1 and half years, I WAS SO SICK IN SO MANY WAYS IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS ON IT!!! to many side effects to list,everything SUBGAL LISTED AND THEN SOME!!!!!!CHRIST IT WAS LIKE POISON IN THE END.Lord my heart goes out to those who have suffered from it,(in small defence of sub)IT DOES HAVE A GREAT POTENTIAL FOR SHORT TERM DETOX USE!!! We are all different and in MANY WAYS THE SAME,WE ALL MUST FIND OWR OWN ROAD BACK!

The best advice i can give is do your HOMEWORK ON SUB BEFORE YOU EVER TAKE IT!

best wishes,
STEVE

STEVE-O

Thanks so much for your support!!
Now to start my "clean" time over Dec. 25th 2008

Hugz
Subgal

Subgal you are doing GREAT, and I think you will be ok, if those are your only symptoms in 7 days, I don't think that they will get any worse. Sure am glad you didn't have to get back on the sub. I am very sorry for your loss, but you have pulled through, and I am sure he is smiling at you from the stars. I have been so affraid that after I get off of sub, I may one day really need a pain med again, and you have given me hope that I could take it as directed and be alright after. So thanks for that.

You are an inspriation for sure, you have failed nothing, you have succeded. be proud of yourself. I am

Angela
Day5at 1.25mg

Don't look back you're not going that way.

And I hate winter. yuck

Awwwwwwwww Mimi,


You have me crying here....... Love yall!!

Big Big Hugs..........Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Subgal

Hey subgal, glad ur doing well now and happy. U will help other people in one or another sharing ur experience. Well done!.

Life is how you make it.