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I came across this site and I am glad I did...Alittle background info on me.. I started off on pills .. vicks,perks,then oxys and that eventually turned to heroin.. I was addicted to opiates for almost 6 years. I ended up getting clean and started taking suboxone.. I had 8 months clean and I relapsed.. I lost everything.. all the money I saved, my job, and 8 months clean down the drain.. after going on a 2 month binge I realized wtf am I doing.. I remembered how life was clean and I loved it.. I got my hands on 2 weeks worth of subs( I was no longer prescribed then after missing appts) and I tapered down.. my last dose was Saturday.. today is day 2.. I feel really sweaty, hands clammy and some depression.. not too bad but I do expect it to get worse.. my problem is I always think its going to be worse than what it really is.. I am constantly obsessing about how sick I feel and when it will be over with.. rather than staying positive and taking it day by day.. I just want to get a job, be clean and live a normal life.. I want that all to happen tomorrow and I know thats not possible.. I have been feeling really depressed lately.. I moved to GA and have not meet any friends yet so I don't do much during the day and I'm sure that doesn't help.. I'm wondering how long the w/d's will last.. I am sick of addiction and sick of suboxone.. when I first started off I was so happy but I don't want to be dependent on something for the rest of my life.. which is why I only got 2 weeks worth.. I wonder if I did it the right way.. I do have some paxil and wellbutrin.. and geodon for sleep.. I haven't took anything yet but the wellbutrin.. I know some say it won't helped but it was prescribed because I never had any energy and always felt tired.. I took a wellbutrin alittle while ago and I managed to do the dishes, sweep the floor and type this post.. I am glad I came across this site I feel better knowing that I am not alone in this.. I am just so sick of addiction and being dependent on something.. I just want to be like everyone else and live a normal and happy life.. well thats all for now thanks for listening.
Welcome to ODR. Not sure about 'the right way'..or what dose you jumped from? But 2 days off usually the acute stage is about to start to crest. The physical aspects anyways. A script for some clonidine and maybe some Imodium Ad (OTC) would help.
Any thoughts on a support plan to help you maintain your recovery?
Congrats on the focus.
You can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking that caused them in the first place.
Thank you for your reply.. I got 10 8mg subs but never took the full 8.. I started out taking 6mg for about 3 days.. then went to 4 mgs for about 3 days.. then to 2mg the next 4 days.. then 1mg for 2 days.. and about .50mg for the last 2 days.. If my last dose of .50mg was Saturday then by today I should be in full blown withdrawals? I have w/d off opiates many times so I know what to expect.. but never off subs.. but I do know that I am sick of depending on something.. I am only 24 and have been doing this for about 6 years now.. My recovery plan so far is to get into counseling I plan to attend some NA meetings as well.. but I do spend alot of time reading on these forums and I have been reading the basic text online.. I am trying to stay positive and not obsess over it.. I do wonder if I will ever be normal again and feel normal.. after using for 6 years I forgot what it was like to be normal and not on drugs.. I am going to play wii sports in a bit to get alittle bit of exercise in me.. I just wish I wasn't so alone.. literally
What is normal to an addict? You're clean and sober now...that's better then our 'normal'. :o The detox from opiates and the detox from sub is different...similar, but the sub has it's own issues...and half life.
The online meetings are a good stop gap. But it won't replace the warmth of a smile or handshake. You can't hear or communicate the passion of recovery in one's eyes...perhaps very soul.
If you've been reading, you know an addict alone is in very bad company. Not bashing the forums :) , but they can't replace the one on one ESH of a meeting. The counseling is also a spot on plan! :)
And a big kudos to you for the focus at your age.....you have a lot of years ahead of you for the 'new normal'.
You can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking that caused them in the first place.
Thank you for your reply..Well today is day 3.. I feel ok.. not is bad as I thought I would.. but I don't want to jinx myself.. The only major symptoms I am having is hot and cold flashes.. chills, sweating and my stomach is bothering me alittle.. but nothing too bad.. like I said i don't want to jinx myself but this is the easiest w/d I have experienced.. I am trying to stay busy and its helping some.. depression comes in waves.. I am positive for alittle bit and then I get down all of a sudden.. well thats all for now will post later..
I wish you continued success with your suboxone withdrawal. I've been on sub for more than two years and as many times as I have tried I can't get through the withdrawals. BUT, everyone is different. How are you doing now? I hope you are hanging in there.
Thank you for your reply hlklell..I read your post.. don't give up you can do it!! I was a opiate abuser for 6 years.. went on subs for 8 months.. had a relapse and went back on subs for 2 weeks.. which is why I think I don't feel so bad but thats just my opinion.. who knows tomorrow could be worse am I just taking it day by day.. today I have been having some hot and cold flashes.. some chills.. I only sneezed once so thats good i guess.. cravings are getting to me.. but not any pills.. for some subs but i know i would be back to square one.. I found a needle in my bathroom for my gf (she is in rehab right now) it was just lying there.. like a sign to me or something.. I am so sick of this taking over my life.. its been 6 long years and i want to be free from it.. I managed to do some laundry today and alittle housework.. I even took my dog for a walk.. usually when I am going threw w/d's I don't have much energy.. but from some reason this time around i have alittle.. hey I will take what i can get.. tomorrow i am going out with my gf's mother to go find a job.. i am happy about that and look forward to it.. I have been playing games on pogo.com and that has helped as well!! ok thats it for now.. more to come later thank you for listening.
Well its night time.. the worst part of the day for me.. I don't feel too bad.. just emotionally... I have been thinking about checking into rehab..but there is a problem with that.. I have no insurance and there is only 1 state funded place that will service my county.. and that is the same place my gf is at.. I don't want to do that and I doubt I would get in if they knew.. or would probably get kicked out if the found out.. idk anymore.. I am looking forward to tomorrow to do some job searching.. do something that will keep me busy.. like I said I really don't feel to bad.. But there is always tomorrow.. Goodnight for today.. hope to hear from someone soon.. thanks
I am only 24 and have been doing this for about 6 years now.. My recovery plan so far is to get into counseling I plan to attend some NA meetings as well.. but I do spend alot of time reading on these forums and I have been reading the basic text online.. I am trying to stay positive and not obsess over it.. I do wonder if I will ever be normal again and feel normal.. after using for 6 years I forgot what it was like to be normal and not on drugs.. I am going to play wii sports in a bit to get alittle bit of exercise in me.. I just wish I wasn't so alone.. literally
Ah you are younger than my boys! You are in GA a new start there right? You live alone or with g/f? I ask not because I am nosy or well, it is a cute nose, anyway, YOU WROTE I just wish I wasn't so alone. Drug use is all about being alone, just you and your drugs right? Six years of it and I KNOW for sure that living clean is something brand new to you and you are scared. There is a way to do this so you do not ever have to do it again. My son did it, made it when he was 21, after using off and on from age 13. When he finally made the right choice he was using then 400. dollars of heroin a day. If he can do it you can too, but you need to keep your mind and heart open and be willing to get humble and ask for help. Can you and will you do this? I know there is an egomaniac in there who loves drugs, but I want you to slap him away from your thoughts for now, I want you instead to take some action. Yes get to meetings. As many as possible, do one at a time though. And get busy. But you need to learn how to live clean. Took my son about 6 months or 7 months in detox~rehab and sober living, before he felt normal again, until he just went to work, lived life, and knew HOW to deal with the drug thinking. But that is a lot of work right? As you head into recovery remember this, if you put half the amount of time and effort into recovery that you did into getting high you will make it. Using is a hard life, the effort and work to stay clean is tough too. Look at both lives and if you want the latter, IF you want recovery than just be willing to ask for help, everywhere, from other addicts in sobriety for they will guide you to where they are.
And this I know... your worst day of sobriety will always be better than your best day of using. Choose, know in every moment you are making a choice. Choose to put sober people in your life. Choose to stay busy and walk away from addict thinking that tells you to take the instant way out. Choose to walk your dog, every day, it is good for the dog and better for you. Choose to go to the gym. Choose to talk to people, you choose, then it happens, in each moment, you choose.
And so I wish you success in every moment and every choice you make.
And the answer is yes, yes you will feel normal again and yes you will LEARN HOW to live without the drugs, but you cannot do it alone.
With great respect and kind thoughts,
Where did you move from? My friend moved to Georgia from NY & was alone for several months. She is a recovering addict/alcoholic & started going to meetings again. She is so much happier now. She not only has the support she needs but has made friends. Maybe you can start out by going to an AA or NA meeting. She also says they are much "nicer" than here in NY. Apparently they have pot luck lunches once a month & seem to have food at every meeting she goes to. Her home group is a 45 minute drive. She lives in a very small town but has still managed to find good meetings & stay sober. I was very worried about her in the first 2 months she lived in GA. The meetings can literally be live saving. Perhaps when your gf gets out of rehab you can go in?
Hang in there, better days are ahead of you. I know, easy for me to say LOL.
Information in this forum is not monitored or provided by a medical professional. The information reflects member opinions only. Do not act on advice from these forums without first consulting a qualified medical professional. All content is copyrighted and protected by Aelius Group.