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  1. #1
    tjmeow2001 Guest

    Default sub & pregnancy????

    Hi Everyone,
    I hope you are all well. I've wrote a few times and I am on your site daily. I just got back from my wedding and honeymoon. All went soooo awesome, thx to my sub!
    I have a question and was hoping anyone may have insight. Paul and I are Verrrrry excited to start our family. I have been told its a big no-no to get pregnant while on SUB and I do not want to take ANY chances. So Im going to taper slowly and then wait 2 months or so before starting to try. Have any of the women conceived while on SUB? have you also had the same warning ?
    Any and all feedback you can give is much appreciated.
    Take care all!
    betsy

  2. #2
    chet is offline Senior Member
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    Please dont even take any chance of getting pregnant will on maitenance or detox. You need to use birth control along wih condems or the pill and atleast pulling out. I think you will need more than 2 months of sobetiy before starting a family and you should wait a couple of years to make shore your marriage was the right thing. I know you think it will last forever but you never know. You maybe a different person once you are clean

    Chet

    Chet

  3. #3
    tjmeow2001 is offline Junior Member
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    Chet, Actually I wasn't asking for anyine's opinion of WHEN or IF I should have children or how long my marriage will last to the person I have been with for 10 years!
    No need to repsond back to this post.. thx

  4. #4
    tjmeow2001 is offline Junior Member
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    Yea others have told me the same thing..I think most people are aware of that.
    some people live in bizzaro land.. oh well :)

  5. #5
    chet is offline Senior Member
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    That was exactly what you were asking. I am sorry that you only want to here sugar coated posts so that you can rationalize your pemature pregnancy. If your doctor told you its a big no no than why would you even consider. Also when on get clean there chances of staying clean are slim. It is also not advice from "moron" to concieve a child with only two months clean or start a family until you made sure that your marriage is well. If you dont want peoples opinion dont post


    Chet

  6. #6
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    BlondeBomb is offline Senior Member
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    Chet,

    have you ever thought it was maybe the way you say things to people that is a turn off. Are we all so wrong about you? You say things that have SOME truth to them however they are said in a spiteful vendictive way.

    I dont know what your motiation is and frankly I dont care. But, maybe you should check yourself and stop attacking everyone and try to give an honest opinion without being spiteful and nasty.

    Just a suggestion...if you dont heed it... I suggest you GO AWAY!!!!!


    Teri

  7. #7
    chet is offline Senior Member
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    Read both of those post and tell me what is offensive about it. It may not what she wanted to hear, but it is all sound advice. If it would have came from spring or another women I would not get this reaction. I will admit some time I say things harsh but here is just not the case. I have reread my post and see nothing offenssive degrating or bias just good sound atvice from someone that truely cares. Everone knows how different life is when clean. You are a different person. Also the the relapse rate of someone with two months clean is over 90%, so until you are sure your life, sobiety, and marriage are secure it is unwise to have or start a family no matter how much you want it thats selfish. I truely belive that I am The one who deserves an appology.

    Chet

  8. #8
    greeneyez is offline Senior Member
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    Chet, You are really harsh in many of your posts, and you attack right off the bat. You speak good things, but it is the way you say it that comes arcoss wrong.

    You have very stong opipions and views on many things, but it is not what you say, it is how it is said.

    Saying your opipion is great, but not everyone is going to agree. You can not make someone believe in what you believe in.

    "Live for today, as tomorrow is not promised to anyone"

  9. #9
    patty123 is offline Senior Member
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    i agree...you never know what it can do to the baby...i would make every effort to stay clean for a good year before i would think of conceiving also...

    who knows until years down the road what the sub will do to our systems? we are still learning about it, you know?

    just my opinion.

  10. #10
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    I agree with what was said I take exception with the way it was said. I have read many of Chet's other posts and they always go for the throat.

    I think you can share your opinion and still do it in loving way. That old saying goes for Chet...you can catch more bees with honey that with vinager. Just a thought Chet.

    Teri

  11. #11
    chet is offline Senior Member
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    Maybe in some posts I had to take it futher than good taste would call for but here is just not the case. I have now read my first post a third time and see nothing offenseive. I must admit for myself being in the throws of addiction, children would be one of my last wishes. I would like to have my own children someday, but I know for now, or a few months from getting clean is not the right time. I am sorry if I have offended anyone. I took time to try to help you and feel that I deserve the apology.

    CHet

  12. #12
    chet is offline Senior Member
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    Thank you Spring

    I feel very strongly about having a child while our live are in the term oil of addiction. It is something that can be recovered from. Its almost like when you were little and you just had to have that puppy. Your parent told you that you would have to feed walk and take care of it. You didnt care what anyone said you want that puppy and you knew everything. I am not say that one would not take care of there child I am saying you want it so bad now but it may not be the right time. I dated a girl and she was on the shot we were both on methadone. So one day out of the blue she started having a period which see never gets from the shot and told me this is what happened last time she got pregnant. Aparently she forgot to get her shot, this was the one time in my life I truely thought of suicide. I was so scared of my family, the shame of having a drug baby, not to mention neither of us could take care of ourselves or her existing son. I never would have killed myself who know it might have straighted my out and made me step up, but that is rare with thhis kind of addiction. My whole point is take some time to make sure what you are doing is right for everyone involed. I truely hope you listen to my words not as an attack but as a friend that been though many of the same challenges.

    Chet

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