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Central Costa Rica, Home base is East coast of USA
I have always been light sensitive... I figured its the blue eyes... Now even inside lights bother me. My eyes have improved according to wilmer eye clinic but not according to how I see. Its ok though. The lest of my worries at this time.
I guess i really shouldnt complain since I did this to myself. I do wish I forgo the sub route. I still get angry about this. I have written to AMA to complain about the quack and complained to n,a.abt.. without being heard. That makes it even worse.
I jumped July 13,2005 after a rather brilliant 7 year run on buprenex and then suboxone shortly after it came available for a 3 week oxcontin binge.. 3 weeks prior to starting sub I was 100% sober and I felt perfectly normal, The acute symptoms lasted around 30 days, and the post acute symptoms have lasted well over 3 years.. I tried exercise, diets, vitamins, minerals, aminos, CT scans, MRI's, extensive blood work (thyroid too), Paxil, effexlor, nurontin, wellbutrin, Celexa, murcuna pruiens, Testosterone replacement therapy, oxo50, 5htp, L-tyro, SamE, DLPA, DHEA, provigil, adderal, foculin, killing a sacrificial lamb, and a couple of kitchen sinks.. And the ONLY thing that worked for ME was time.
i quit may 08, paws real bad off and on till 6 week ago, it set in and wouldnt go away, i went the dr. and got on vyvanse (its like adderal), its really helped alot so far (one week in) no paws, lots of energy, able to go to work every day ect...
specifically .... what are you doing to help yourself live drug free. Have you experience paws? Have you experience life without drugs since your induction in o4?
Bonita, I really don't wish to sound rude, but, I already responded graciously to one inquiry from you about me and PAWS. Further, frankly I don't know where your getting dates and information about me from, but, your post makes no sense to me.
In 2004 if I filled my script for 100 or 120 vicodin at 9am when the pharmacy opened, by 6 or 7 that evening I was driving the city looking for more, because I didn't have enough left to get me out of bed the next morning!
If I felt I wished to add to this thread, per the original post, I would. At the moment it is benefiting me more personally to read and ask a question. I do hope that is OK. And I may choose to contribute, if I feel it can be of help to another.
WOW, Thank you for sharing your stories. But I gotta be honest, to a degree it makes me so sad and mad at the same time? And it scares the crap out of me to think of going through 6 -24mo of this.
It just doesn't seem fair, We have to stop this from happening to others, at least try... Can I make out ODR flyers and go hand them out at OP clinics??? At least if they came here maybe, they would not stay on it for so long, or try to get off sooner if they have been on it for awhile. At least they could hear the truth about what this so called wonder drug does to you in the long run.??
Just think, just today, how many new people have been put on this drug and have know idea what they are in for.
I have nothing to add to the Sub experience per se, but I can very much relate to the effects of the long-term PAWS encountered.
It came close to breaking me several times over many months....and the only thing I could hold onto is that perhaps it would be better tomorrow. Sometimes this wasn't true and tomorrow turned out to be worse. The old 2 steps forward, 1 back thing.
All I did was hang on come hell or high water.
I've shared before that I didn't know there was a name for what I was encountering and in many ways I'm grateful for that. My stupidity on the subject worked in my favor; I didn't have to fear that which I didn't know.
I was able to move the focus off the nuances of obsessing on every ache, pain and mental anguish and trudge on into what I knew was waiting. Life unencumbered by drugs and a chance to get my family back.
The other thing I didn't do was try to nap during the day. As fatigued as I was...as in barely able to move...I stayed away from the bed at all costs. Sleep deprivation was a major issue....and the longest part for me. I figured by not napping, I would increase my chances of sleeping at night. Unfortunately, that proved not to be true until about 11 or 12 months. That's when I began to get 2 hours a night.
Music became a large part of elevating out of depression. I blasted it and help to blast the negativity out of my head. Had a woman refuse to room with me because of the noise factor to saying nothing of the fact that I liked Anne Murray and Neil Diamond while she liked rap. I also rocked out to the music and got my endorphins going. I had the physical strength to dance, but not to walk. I did, however, avoid elevators and forced myself to take stairs.
The blessing is that I don't think about that time much anymore with one exception. When I see members hear posting their BMT/MMT experiences...and then I remember big time.
Ben...thanks for starting this thread. Keeping it real.
This no name time was when I learned the art of endurance. Its held me in good stead over the years.
I think the land you speak of is call no man's land. Where you are not at the beginning and not at the end, but somewhere in the middle, no man's land.
I don't think that was my experience, darlin'.
I was being pro-active by hanging on and walking through the fear of the unknown. The unknown of what tomorrow would bring while at the same time, knowing that somehow it would get better. The "when" was not to be determined by me.
Once I detoxed, I crossed the frontier.
If I ain't using or dope sick...I'm not in limbo. I'm forging ahead.:)
Information in this forum is not monitored or provided by a medical professional. The information reflects member opinions only. Do not act on advice from these forums without first consulting a qualified medical professional. All content is copyrighted and protected by Aelius Group.