Hey all you moms and family members. Ive been reading, but wasnt ready to post yet. I feel like Im coming to some new sort of conclusion, but not sure I can put my finger on it yet. My surgery to remove this device is Wednesday- just in time for the next snow storm to hit us! My husband has vowed to get me there no matter how bad it is, so I will trust him. Our daughter has gone to some more AA meetings and is continuing counseling. She and I had a talk Saturday about how I resented phone calls lately- because they are like weather reports. They 'tell' me if I can be happy or sad, nervous or relaxed. That sure isnt 'detached' and it isnt healthy for me or my daughter. She knows my peace of mind tips on her 'situation' and its a lot of pressure on her, too. She once again encouraged me to go to Alanon, which I havent done. After thinking about it all day Saturday, I decided I would go once I can walk again. There must be something else I need to learn. I know that Anne has been trying to direct me to something else and I need to keep listening and thinking. I havent been asking about her reducing her methadone- as much as I wanted to do it, but I was still locked in step with her successes and failures- big and small. There must be another step to detachment that I need to find. How do you love them, but disconnect from their ups an downs? I really dont like being part of that drama, but always find myself pulled into it. I often feel like Im her only lifeline and if I let go of the rope she will be lost. what happens when you let go? I know I want my life to be about me and my husband. We've worked hard for what we have and deserve to relax and have some peace, but can you really experience that peace if your daughter isnt safe? All about me, so sorry. I know that you, Krish and Glynntoo and so many others are in very painful places right now. I'd wear this metal for another year if it meant I could bring peace to our kids lives and give us some peace of mind, I really would. But no sacrifice on our part seems to have any impact on their success. It lies solely in their hands for good or for bad. Hugs to you all. Hang in there through this next snow storm!